Hikari 27
by UglyGreenJacket
Summary: A chance meeting on an early morning train, leads to a whirlwind romance. But unspoken wants and lives in different cities could threaten to ruin it all. A birthday fic for FloraOne.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: So, it's FloraOne's birthday, you guys, which means it's time for another installment of UglyGreenJacket Writes FloraOne a Birthday Fic. This will be a multi-chapter little piece that I think will end up being a lot of fun, so let me know what you think of this prologue, and go wish Flora a happy birthday! She's the best, I have her to thank for this, and most other things, too ;) Happy birthday, love! I hope you enjoy this, and I'm grateful you were born!_

 _oOo_

Usagi sighed in frustration, plopping down into her reserved seat aboard the Hikari 27 shinkansen, bound for Tokyo, immediately placing her head against the window, her eyes closing wearily.

It was early. _Ungodly_ early. And she was cursing herself for waiting so long to make her reservation, leaving the 6 am train back to Tokyo as her only option.

Why did they even run trains this early, anyway? It's not as if people could truly function at a time like this.

Her compartment, car number 14, was filled with Japanese and foreigners alike as she heard at least three different languages going on around her, only one of which she actually understood, while people looked for their seats, and pushed luggage up above in the small storage spaces.

She had only managed to make the train because of Makoto's help, and the small flash of annoyance Usagi felt at being awakened at such an hour abated into a soft smile at the thought of her friend.

Sweet, motherly, wonderful Makoto had moved to Osaka two years back in order to get in on the ever-burgeoning culinary scene. She had spent time as a pastry chef in a Michelin three-star restaurant, and had finally saved, and earned enough notoriety, to realize her dream of opening her own bakery.

Of course, the second Usagi had heard about her beloved Mako-chan's bakery opening, she had dropped everything, opting to spend two weeks in Osaka helping Makoto in any possible way she could.

She had dubbed herself Official Taste-Tester, which of course, Usagi excelled at beyond even her own wildest dreams, thanks to Makoto's amazing creations, but she'd even become fairly adept at working the register by the time her two weeks were up, and she decided that, if her career as a freelance social media expert ever came to a screeching halt, that working for Makoto wouldn't be the worst idea she'd ever had.

Usagi was especially grateful for the line of work she'd ended up in, however. It was fun and exciting, and her creative side got the spotlight her mother always claimed it should have. And being freelance, she could work when she wanted or needed, and it was easy to create posts for Instagram and Facebook ahead of time, allowing her to schedule weeks of work in advance, freeing up her schedule so she could spend as much time with her loved ones as she could, or, in this case, jetting off to Osaka for two weeks in order to help one of her dearest friends open their bakery.

Plus, it didn't hurt that she was damn good at what she did, supporting a hefty portfolio of clients across Japan who all clamored for ideas and content from Tsukino Usagi.

Usagi loved her life. Loved her job, her family, her friends. She was content, and happy, and very few things could bring her down.

Except the shrill sound of an alarm at 5 am.

Of course, Makoto had been up even earlier than Usagi, preparing what was bound to be the most amazing bento ever created (if Usagi could find the strength to eat it being so tired) (who was she kidding, _of course she'd eat it._ ) And Usagi could barely suppress grateful tears, engulfing the brunette in a giant hug, when Makoto handed it to her in a brand new, and absolutely adorable, bento box, decorated with the most adorable little bunny she'd ever seen, a thank you for helping her these past two weeks.

She was surrounded by crowds of people whizzing by her and running from one platform to the next, when she stopped to hug Makoto goodbye, and Usagi found herself being struck with that familiar sense of awe at the hustle and bustle of Japan's train stations, especially this early in the morning.

But now, she sat curled up in her seat, actually having been on time to the train for once, her head finding the most comfortable position it could against a cold, hard window, as she prepared to sleep the entire way to Shinagawa Station.

There was some rustling off to her right, as someone struggled to fit their luggage into the bins overhead, and she heard a small, but deep, 'oof,' as whomever it was pushed back from the brute force of their own pushing.

Usagi opened an eye angrily, huffing in annoyance, prepared to give the person the best stink eye she could possibly muster.

But the sight that greeted her made her breath catch.

A man was scooting towards the middle seat. The seat right next to her. But this wasn't just _any_ man.

He was tall and slim, with inky black hair that fell softly into his face as he moved. Impeccably dressed, with form fitting black jeans and black turtleneck under a knit grey sweater, topped off with a knotted plaid scarf that hung loose around his neck. The sleeves of his sweater were pushed up slightly revealing muscled arms that looked like they were made to hold someone.

And his eyes. God, his eyes! The deepest color blue you could ever imagine!

But how was it she could see the color of his eyes so well, unless…

Usagi flushed beat red, her eyes darting to the seat back in front of her, complete embarrassment flooding her at having been caught openly staring at the most beautiful man she'd _ever seen._

After a few moments, she dared a peek at him from the corner of her eye, expecting him to be blushing and flustered similarly. But instead, she was almost certain there was a satisfied _smirk_ on his face.

The nerve of this Ridiculously Hot Train Guy was really something, she thought to herself, seething silently at the satisfaction he got from her ogling.

She felt the train jolt to life as they started to move swiftly away from Shin-Osaka.

 _Ah, what the hell,_ she thought, reaching into her bag to pull out the bento Makoto had made for her. She risked a glance in her seat partner's direction, finding him already absorbed in some boring looking article. _It's not like I'm going to get any sleep now, anyway._


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: YOU GUUYSSS. I FINALLY finished this second chapter, of FloraOne's birthday fic, and it only took me four months xD a HUGE thank you to Flora for her help and encouragement and patience with this fic. I kinda love how it's turning out and I hope you do too! I also have to thank Antigone2 for her help with this, and keeping me on track with these crazy characters 333_

 _Hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think!_

 _oOo_

Usagi wasn't quite sure how she knew. How did anyone ever really understand their feelings in moments like this anyway? But all Usagi knew was that she was completely, totally, and _epically_ in love with Ridiculously Hot Train Guy.

This was it, she was convinced, while watching him twirl a strand of hair in his fingers as he read. There would never be another like this for Usagi Tsukino.

If only there was some way she could manage to talk to him, it would all be perfect…

But for now, she'd settle for sneaking (hopefully) a photo or two (or fifty) of him to send to Minako. Because who better to affirm her attraction, and appreciate the male sex than Minako?

She scooted herself against the window so that she was sitting at an angle, her back half-pressed against the glass, trying to make it seem as if she was just making herself more comfortable, instead of doing one of the more stalkerish things she'd ever done in her life. Being so short could often be annoying, but in instances such as these, where she would normally be invading others personal space, she was quite grateful for her tiny, vertically challenged body.

Turning the camera function on, on her phone, she tapped the center of her screen so that Ridiculously Hot Train Guy would be perfectly in focus, while he so beautifully read his boring-ass paper, scribbling comments in the margins every now and then.

When Usagi was happy with the framing and the light that showed on her screen, she pressed the red button, smiling to herself at how adorable he looked concentrating so hard on the words in front of him.

Everything was wonderful!

…Until she saw a bright flash of light from the back of her camera.

She froze, completely mortified. How could she have possibly forgotten to turn the flash off?!

She was a supposed to be a social media guru for Christ's sake. An ill-timed flash was the rookie-est of rookie mistakes one could make.

Dark blue eyes looked at her through a sideways glance, his pen stilling on the paper, and Usagi snapped herself back to an upright position, the deepest blush that had _ever_ darkened her cheeks settled firmly in place.

She turned her gaze toward the window, resolutely staring out into the darkness, in an effort to avoid any kind of eye contact with her seat buddy, while embarrassment and anger at herself ate away at her.

But after what felt like ages, she couldn't resist, putting her peripheral vision to work, glancing at him out of the corner of eye, only to find him seemingly undisturbed back to scribbling away on his papers, the title of which she could now see was, "Stability Structure of an Extractor Based Machine."

 _What a gorgeous nerd._

Usagi did finally allow herself a quick look through her phone, suddenly remembering her mission in the first place.

And after a few taps, there it was. The perfect picture of Ridiculously Hot Train Guy. At least she had this as a prize for her efforts, since she was fairly certain any remote chance she had with this guy who was so obviously out of her league was completely blown the second she took The Picture Seen Round the World.

She decided she needed validation of her newly found love, quickly firing off the picture in a text to Minako, unable to keep the audible huff from escaping her when she got a quick response back from her friend of, 'You woke me up for that? 5.6 of 10.'

Offended, she settled back into her seat, checking her watch only to see that not even an hour had passed since they had departed from Osaka.

Usagi was trying her best to focus on the faint sight of the Japanese countryside whizzing by in the darkness. That was until she heard a sharp intake of breath and a deep, "shit," from right next to her.

Glancing over, she saw the newly cemented Love of Her Life holding his hands out so as to not touch anything, black ink covering his hands in deep, wet splotches, the pen he'd been holding now resting in his lap on top of the boring paper he'd been reading.

"Oh, no!" Usagi cried, numerous occasions where the exact same thing had happened to her flashing through her mind (pens exploding on you happened a lot when you were a pen chewer). "Here, let me help you!"

Reaching down between her legs, she pulled out her duffle bag that was covered in pink bunnies, and began to rummage through, looking for the can of hairspray she kept with her at all times.

When she found it, she held it up in a victorious pose, before turning back towards him.

He was staring with concern at the item in her hand, eyes wide and confused. "Hey! What are you going to-"

Ignoring his protests, Usagi grabbed his left hand in her right. But a jolt of electricity she'd never felt before at the touch of another stopped her movements. Her eyes flew to his in a bit of shock, and she was equally surprised to find the same shocked expression reflected back at her.

Several long seconds stretched between them where they sat looking at each other, her thoughts completely lost in the endless blue depths of his eyes, her breathing shallow, and her face flushed.

He really was the most _beautiful_ man she'd ever seen. All dark, unruly hair that fell perfectly into place, full lips and long eyelashes were enough to make her mouth run dry. Normally, if she were able to think straight, Usagi would be annoyed at how effortless his beauty was, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to begrudge this perfect man his ridiculous beauty.

He was the first to recover from the trance they'd fallen into. "Uh...what are you...what are you doing with that?" he repeated in a deep voice that sent tingles all through her, nodding at the can of hairspray she still held.

Usagi shook her head to clear it, her cheeks nearly as pink as they'd been earlier when she'd been caught photographing him. "This will keep the ink from setting into your skin," she said, meeting his eyes again, and waiting for him to give her permission to continue.

"Trust me, I've done this a lot," she said nonchalantly, hoping it might help with his uneasiness.

The smirk she'd seen when he first set eyes on her earlier was back, curling up the corners of his sensuous mouth. "I can see that," he said.

She knew there was no way his remark could be construed as a compliment.

" _Baka_ ," Usagi hissed before she could stop herself. Grabbing his hands, she sprayed the hair spray on them, this time ignoring the jolt that went through her at the feeling of his warm skin.

"Let it set for a minute," she told him, annoyance lacing her tone as she put the lid back on the can, and dug through her bag for the wet wipes she had also learned were a necessity to have with her at all times.

"Whatever you say, Odango Atama."

She froze her digging movements, as his words settled over her, her eyes growing wide.

" _What_ did you just call me?!" Usagi shrieked all too loudly. Dozens of heads turned towards her, and she found herself the recipient of annoyed stares from all around the train cabin.

Shrinking back into her seat in embarrassment, Usagi turned towards the man next to her, to give him a glare of her own, only to find him with an infuriating, amused grin on his face.

"It's because of your hair," he said, making a motion with his hands in a circle around his own head in what she assumed was an imitation of the buns she was infamous for. "Nothing to yell about, Odango Atama."

Her mouth fell open in shock as he insulted her for the second time in less than a minute, and she turned back to her bag, still looking for the wipes that were currently hiding from her.

How had she ever believed herself to be in love with this guy?! He was obviously a total jerk. A _hot_ jerk she would forever enjoy imagining with his shirt off, but a jerk nonetheless.

She mumbled as such to herself, too, when she finally grabbed his hands back into her own and began to furiously scrub his skin with the wipe. " _Arrogant asshole."_

The fact that she could feel him suppressing a laugh at her only fueled her anger more, as she finished with a huffy, "there," placing the used wipe on the tray in front of her, crossing her arms and staring resolutely at the seat back in front of her.

"Wow," Usagi heard from beside her, and she glanced over to see him looking at his now cleaned hands, seemingly impressed.

"You do good work," he said, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes, mind automatically guessing was insulting her again, this time with sarcasm.

"No, really! " he said sincerely, eyes meeting hers. She was surprised at the genuine smile he was sending her way, and even more surprised at how clouded her brain seemed to become with that simple look.

"Thank you," he continued on, running a hand through his hair. "I really do appreciate it. I'm giving a lecture this afternoon, and that would have been...embarrassing to say the least."

Her brain screamed at her to keep quiet. To just leave it at that. To not take the bait and ask the jerk anything about himself. But her mouth often worked much faster than her brain.

"Lecture?" she asked, tearing her gaze away from him to look down at her clasped hands in her lap. "What for?"

He seemed flustered as he spoke, and Usagi could sense he was uneasy when she looked back up at him. "It's, uh...for my old university, Keio, for-"

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," she rushed out, shaking her head and causing the streamers of her hair to flow around her. "I didn't mean to pry."

But he shook his head right back at her. "No!" he said forcefully, which confused Usagi, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. "I'm just...terrible at talking about myself is all."

She found herself once again mesmerized by him. The way his inky hair fell into his eyes. The way his brow furrowed as he struggled to find words. The way his mouth moved as he spoke.

Ok, maybe she was still in love with him just a little bit.

"Even- what was it? Arrogant assholes?- can be socially inept, you know," he said finally, the telltale smirk back on his face.

Usagi blushed for what must have been the hundredth time since she'd sat down on the train, but his smile was infectious and she couldn't help but return it.

"Yeah, well," she said, "maybe you're not the _worst_ person ever, I guess. Second worst, maybe."

"Thanks, Odango Atama," he replied, smile still fully intact.

She rolled her eyes again, but this time in playful annoyance. "My name is _Usagi,_ baka."

"Wait," he said seriously, after her declaration. "You mean your name isn't Odango Atama?!"

Usagi couldn't help but giggle at his obvious silliness, amazed at how much the man before her could swing her emotions so fluidly. "No, amazingly enough, it is not."

After a short pause, she took in a deep breath and worked up the courage to ask. "And what's your name, socially inept, arrogant asshole?"

He smiled, and looked down at his hands, hair falling into his eyes again, before he looked back to her. "Mamoru. Mamoru Chiba."

Usagi stuck out her tiny hand for him to shake, fighting the urge to close her eyes at the sensation of his skin against hers. "Usagi Tsukino. Nice to meet you, Mamoru Chiba."

"You too, Odang-" he started, until she glared at him again, a mischievous gleam in his eye, "-Usagi Tsukino." Her name rolled off his tongue like he was meant to say it.

They continued to smile at each other, their hands still clasped together for much longer than would have been considered the social norm in this kind of situation, but Usagi didn't care.

And when they finally did part, Usagi felt emboldened. "So, now that we _really_ know each other, I can pry into your life, right?"

Mamoru rolled his eyes, but she noticed he was still smiling. "If I said no, would that stop you?"

"Umm," she said, touching her hand to her chin as she appeared to think. "Not really."

He laughed quietly. "Didn't think so."

"What is your lecture about, then?"

"Neurology," he answered. "Pediatric neurology, specifically, dealing with childhood brain trauma and amnesia."

Her eyes couldn't have bugged further out of her head if she'd tried. "Neurology?!" she said incredulously. "So, you're like, a doctor or something?"

Mamoru looked incredibly amused at her response, but she couldn't help but notice color that crept up on his cheeks. "Yes, I...am."

She was undoubtedly in awe of him at his admission. Who wouldn't be in awe of a person like him? Obviously brilliant, Keio graduate, gorgeous, witty. And so far out of her league it made her heart ache in an almost unbearable way.

"That's-" her voice broke a bit, and she cursed the tears that pricked at her eyes. She looked back down at her hands in her lap. "-really amazing."

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern lacing his voice, as his hand reached over to touch her arm.

Usagi plastered the biggest smile she could muster, and nodded her head enthusiastically in the affirmative.

 _No need to let him know just how far gone you are on him, this person you_ just met, _baka._

"I'm so sorry if I said something to offend-"

"No!" it was her turn to sound strangely forceful. "I'm just really impressed is all," she said with a shrug and a sheepish smile. "I can't even imagine how hard you had to work for that."

"It certainly had its moments," he said with a slight smile, before turning the conversation back to her. "And what do you do for a living, Usagi?"

Usagi let out a snort, knowing how ridiculous her profession would sound up against his. "Nothing as important as neurology, that's for sure."

He smiled disarmingly, and shook his head. "That's not true," he said with a soft conviction. "As long as you find it meaningful, it's just as important."

She wondered if he had any idea of the effect he was having on her, as she found herself lost again in his gaze, her pulse racing so quickly she was certain he could see it on her neck if he looked.

Swallowing thickly, she finally answered. "I work freelance doing social media for companies, creating content for them, growing their follower base. That kind of thing."

She did have to admit every time she got to explain her job out loud, it _did_ sound pretty cool. And Usagi was immensely proud of everything she had accomplished, even managing to save enough money that she could survive for a year easily without work if she needed to.

"So, you're like an Instagram expert?" Mamoru asked.

The giggle that escaped her at his question caused his eyes to darken. "Something like that, yes."

"Does your job entail you taking pictures of random people on trains, too?"

Usagi could feel the heat rising on her cheeks at his audacity to bring up one of the most mortifying moments of her life. She whipped her head towards him, giving him a withering look she hoped would send him crawling across the sea to China. But of course, all Mamoru did was place his head in his hand, elbow resting on his tray table, the now all too familiar smirk back on his lips.

"Shut-up, Mamoru-baka!" she hissed, and was rewarded with a deep laugh.

"I'm just giving you a hard time, Odango Atama," he said. "Though I am genuinely curious, since we know each other so well, now, and all," he paused to wink at her, "why exactly you needed a picture of me?"

Usagi wasn't used to feeling out of sorts. She was always the one pushing everyone forward, never meeting a stranger or feeling awkward in social situations. But the man in front of her was making her feel like as if she'd never had a successful conversation in her life.

"My roommate and I have this thing where we send pictures to each other of people we think are…" her eyes found his again, and her breath caught, the last word said in whisper, "...beautiful."

It was Mamoru's turn to blush, and he broke her gaze, looking down at his lap, hands clasping and unclasping awkwardly, and Usagi felt the slightest bit of satisfaction at finally flustering him.

She let the silence sit between them for a moment, but being who she was, Usagi never let quiet reign for long. "So, why kids and neurology?"

He smiled a bit, still not looking at her. "Well, why do you do what you do?" he countered.

She huffed in response. "You can't answer my question with another question!"

"Maybe you shouldn't ask such vague, overarching questions, then," he said, an amused look in his eyes, now fully turned to face her (as much as one could in a confining train seat.)

"You're not going to give me an answer are you?" she asked, crossing her arms in frustration.

Usagi could see his shoulders shaking with silent laughter before he answered. "Probably not."

" _Fiiiine_. Be that way," she said, sticking her tongue out at him for good measure.

She heard his laughter that time. "Real mature, Odango Atama," he replied, reaching out to tweak her nose lightly.

Usagi tried her best to ignore the almost addicting feeling of his touch, deciding instead to keep talking. "Where are you staying in Tokyo?"

Mamoru let out a long sigh. "My friend Motoki is letting me stay at his place. He's taking his girlfriend on a trip this weekend. Going to finally pop the question."

Her brow furrowed at his answer. Motoki? He couldn't be talking about _her_ Motoki-oniisan, could he? Sure, there were a lot of people in Japan with that name, but the last time she'd talked with him, he had shown her the ring he was planning on giving to Reika when he proposed in a couple of weeks…

"You're not talking about Motoki Furuhata, are you?"

He appeared to start a bit at her question. "You...you know Motoki?"

A smile appeared on her face. She had a mutual friend with Ridiculously Hot Train Guy? Finally things were going her way.

"Know him?!" she exclaimed excitedly, causing a few heads to turn her direction. "He's practically my brother. I sure like him better than my actual brother, anyway."

Mamoru was still looking at her incredulously, so she went on, words rushing out of her. "I used to go to the arcade, like, every day after school. He showed me the ring he bought for Reika a few weeks ago when I met him for lunch at the arcade, and so I just wondered if you were talking about him. What a small world! So, you're from Juuban, as well? How do you know Motoki?"

He nodded. "I'm not originally from there, but I ended up in Minato for high school and college, which is where I met Motoki," Mamoru answered quietly. "He's...like family to me, as well."

Usagi was confused by the sadness in his eyes, convincing herself she was just misreading it. "Wow. That's so crazy," she said, shaking her head and smiling. She was relieved when he finally smiled back.

"I'm surprised this is the first time our paths have crossed, Odango," he said, voice lighter, now. "I used to go to the arcade quite a bit, too, for coffee and to see Motoki."

"I guess fate had other plans for us," Usagi said, reaching out to fake punch him in the arm.

He made a big show of acting like she'd hurt him, causing her to giggle. "I guess it did."

His papers fell to the floor then, forgotten in the midst of his pen emergency and their ensuing conversation. Mamoru bent to pick them, up stuffing them in his bag in what seemed like a rather uncharacteristic thing for him to do. Not that she really _knew_ him or anything.

"If you're a doctor, why are you reading those boring math papers?" she asked, genuinely curious.

He laughed at her again, a sound she was really beginning to love. "Boring is a subjective term. I happen to find engineering very interesting."

"Whatever floats your boat, I guess," she said, trying to keep the disdain from her voice. So maybe, he wasn't totally perfect, but who was?

Her phone lit up then, with another message from Minako. But it wasn't the message that caught her eye. It was the time. They would be in Tokyo in a little under an hour.

A panic rose up in her then. There was still _so much_ she didn't know about him. His hopes and dreams, his future plans, his favorite food, his birthday, did he look like his mom or dad more?! Of course the most immediate need was still…

"So, was your girlfriend upset that you had to go away for the weekend?" she asked examining the imaginary dirt beneath her nails, suddenly feeling very shy, another emotion she wasn't used to.

"Well, unless my cat counts as my girlfriend, then, no, I don't think so," he replied, and she could hear the amusement again.

Relief she knew she wasn't entitled to feel flooded her. No girlfriend or wife. _Thank god._

"You...have a cat?" she asked, finally daring to look at him.

"I do," he nodded. "Would you like to see a picture of her?"

Usagi's eyes lit up at the prospect of seeing a cute animal, and he chuckled at her while he pulled out his phone.

She soon found herself squealing in delight at the most adorable little black cat she'd ever seen. He showed her numerous photos and some videos of her batting at the tropical fish he kept, which elicited even more squeals from her.

"What's her name?" Usagi asked.

"Luna," he replied, and she couldn't help but smile at the small amount of pride he seemed to hold for his little companion. "I found her ten years ago, and I swear she hasn't aged a day."

"What is that on her forehead?" Usagi asked, drawn to the almost gold looking crescent shape on the cat's head.

"I'm not sure. A bald spot, I guess. The vet never could figure it out either."

"It's so strange!" Usagi said, thoughts immediately turning to Minako's cat, Artemis. "My roommate's cat is completely white, and has that exact same marking on him."

"Must be the cats that brought us together then," he said, winking at her again.

Her insides felt like they were on a never-ending rollercoaster.

"And was your boyfriend upset?" he asked.

She turned to him, confused. He flushed, and looked back down at his hands. "That you were away? Assuming you're heading back home to Tokyo?"

Usagi felt that dangerous sting of hope in her chest at his question. "I don't have a boyfriend," she said finally. "But yes, I am heading back home."

She saw his shoulders relax a bit. "That's...really surprising to me," he said.

"What, that I live in Tokyo?"

Mamoru smiled and shook his head, black bangs briefly shifting on his forehead. "No, that you...don't have a boyfriend."

"Why?"

He shrugged uneasily. "I don't...it's just...you seem like someone who everyone...loves, is all."

Usagi's lips parted in shock at his statement, at a complete loss for words.

At her silence, Mamoru appeared to grow even more uneasy, his eyes widening, and his hands beginning their awkward wringing, again. "I'm sorry, that was so forward of me, I-"

Usagi bit her lip and shook her head. "No! Not at all!" she said, daring to reach out and touch his hands in an effort to still them and calm his uneasiness. She was surprised when he didn't make a move to pull away. "You're right, in a way. I _do_ fall in love so, so easily. I just haven't found that magical, can't eat, can't sleep, you're so in love and you don't care who knows it thing I've always wanted."

His eyes were still very wide and dark while he stared at her. "You really believe in that?"

Usagi didn't break his gaze, no matter how badly she wanted to. "I mean, I know it's silly. There's billions of people on the planet, I know I shouldn't believe in _one_ person being right for me, but, you know. Hopeless Romantic reporting for duty," she said with a smile, holding up her hand in an identifying motion.

Mamoru didn't say a word, but looked at her as if he was expecting her to continue on, so she did.

"I do so believe in love and that there are certain people who make you better every day just by being in your life. People you just love so much that you can't imagine life without them, can't imagine not sharing even the smallest part of your day with. And I've been so lucky to have found that in a lot of my friendships, but never in a romantic partner," she finished quietly, and he shook his head in acknowledgement.

"And if I don't ever find that," she kept going for some inexplicable reason, "I'm totally fine with it. I love my life. But if I was lucky enough to meet the right person one day, I want to be ready to jump in headfirst."

"Do you think you'll ever find what you're looking for?" he asked breathlessly, and Usagi became painfully aware of just how close they had gotten to each other, his face now just inches away from hers, after they had apparently been draw to each other like magnets as she rambled on about love.

 _Would it be too weird to say I think I just did?_

She held back though, too afraid to break the spell they were under, instead simply replying, "God, I hope so."

The corners of his mouth twitched into a small smile, before his eyes landed on her lips.

Usagi's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, she could feel his breath on her face, the train all but disappearing around them when…

" _Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Shinkansen…"_ was heard in the cabin, announcing their imminent arrival at Shinagawa.

They jumped apart from one another, Mamoru standing up so quickly his head smacked into the overhead compartment above him. He nearly ran over the sleeping man in the aisle seat in his haste to get away, a sight which Usagi would have found totally entertaining if her brain wasn't clouded with confusion.

She watched him pull his bags down, bumping into a short, old woman in the process, and he bowed low, apologizing profusely for his gaffe.

Usagi slowly made her way out into the aisle, her duffle bag slung over her shoulder, weighing her down significantly, and despite Mamoru's efforts to apparently flee from her, she had ended up right behind him in the long line of passengers waiting to exit the train.

When they had both managed to exit onto the platform, Mamoru turned around abruptly, causing Usagi to smash into him, his arms reaching out instinctively to wrap around her and keep her from falling.

Once he'd righted her back on her feet, he dropped his arms from her, nearly sending Usagi reeling again.

They stood for a few long moments just staring at each other. Numerous passengers shooting them dirty looks for clogging up the platform.

Mamoru awkwardly stuck out his hand, and Usagi reluctantly took it, shaking it a couple of times before dropping it like she'd been burned.

What the hell was going on? Hadn't they almost just kissed on the train, and now he was saying goodbye to her like they'd just exited a business meeting?

"Well, uh…it was nice to meet you, Usagi," he said, eyes avoiding hers, as he looked down towards the exit.

His words stung her. And she felt a rush of annoyance, not a him, but at herself for allowing him in so easily.

She plastered the biggest smile she could on her face, directing the full blast of her sunshiny personality at him, refusing to let him see how much his awkwardness was affecting her. "You too. If I ever need someone for a head injury, I'll look you up."

That did bring a slight smile to his lips, before it was replaced by a mask that hurt her heart so much more than his apparent rejection of her.

"Maybe I'll see you at Motoki's wedding," he offered lamely, still avoiding her eyes.

"I'm sure we will! Good luck with your lecture!" she said, repositioning her bag, and flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Bye!"

She left him standing there, then. Her pace as confident as she could muster, refusing to allow him the satisfaction of a look back.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: My eternal thanks to FloraOne for continuing to beta and continually encouraging me during some of the busiest days of her life. You da real MVP, gurl. And thanks to Antigone2 for indulging me with a read through as well._

 _Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!_

 _oOo_

How the hell she had ever ended up here, she'd never know.

She'd tried to make herself as small as she could in her seat on the very back row of the large lecture hall in the graduate school building of Keio University, hoping against all hope that Mamoru simultaneously would and wouldn't notice her.

The room was full of students, and he was going on about brain structures (she thought, at least, having heard the words, 'brain' and 'structure' a few times) and Usagi was mesmerized by him.

He was confident in what he was talking about, and he moved as he spoke, not stiff or still like so many bad public speakers would have been. But after the time she'd spent with him that morning, she could sense there was some nervousness to him, his hands clutching the projector remote a little too hard, his eyes darting around, never really settled.

But to the casual observer, he was calm and sexy as hell.

Well, maybe that was just her, but god, he was gorgeous.

When she'd finally made up her mind to try and track him down at his lecture, Usagi had frantically called Ami to help, knowing full well, if anyone could find out about the when and where of a lecture on neurology anywhere in the city, it would be her genius friend.

And Ami hadn't disappointed, not only finding her the exact building, room number and time, but she'd also apparently met Mamoru before in different study circles, and she patiently answered as many of Usagi's questions as she could before finally having to return to her rounds.

Usagi had battled with herself the entire subway ride there about how ridiculous she was being. That there was no way this was going to lead to anything. They lived in different cities. Worked in completely different worlds.

But she just couldn't forget that earth-shaking feeling she'd experienced when their eyes met, and she'd grabbed his hand, feeling his skin against hers.

She owed it to herself to explore this. No matter how stalkerish it might be.

Of course, her resolve came and went fluidly, especially seeing as she didn't understand a word of what he was saying, a near constant reminder of how totally unmatched they were.

Usagi thought about getting up and leaving, but then he would know she was there for sure, her stalker ways exposed for all the world to see, so instead, she continued to try and make herself as small as she possibly could in her seat.

The person next to her sneezed loudly, causing Mamoru to look up and their gazes clashed.

He froze, and so did she, her cheeks flushing from having been caught and from the intensity of his gaze.

Mamoru's mouth hung open, his eyes wide with an emotion she couldn't read from this far away, but it was clear he was shocked at her presence, and Usagi wasn't sure at all if it was a good thing.

She saw dozens of heads turning towards her, trying to figure out what exactly was making the distinguished doctor in front of them act like he was having a major stroke.

Would it be possible to just drop to the floor and crawl her way out of the room?

"Dr. Chiba?" she heard the professor hosting the lecture ask. "Is everything alright?"

Mamoru's head whipped towards the sound. She saw his eyes clear, and without skipping a beat, he nodded his head, and went on as if nothing had happened.

Usagi let out a breath of relief, still seriously considering her escape plan, but the thought of getting to watch Mamoru uninhibited for another half an hour kept her rooted to her chair.

But it wasn't enough to chase the lingering doubts away. He had seen her, was shocked speechless, and now she'd certainly have to talk to him afterwards, since both doors to the room were down front. She would have to walk right by him in order to exit.

She was fucked. And it was her own doing.

He was _so hot, though_ , her muddled brain kept reminding her.

She could always just confront him and apologize, and maybe save face that way? Their parting that morning had been weird, surely he could buy that she just wanted to make amends for walking off like that?

Or, she could go with the truth. What did she have to lose after all? If it went well, maybe something could happen, and if it didn't, she never had to see him again.

That thought made her stomach hurt and turn into knots.

She suddenly realized he had stopped talking, the professor thanking him for being there as the students clapped in appreciation, as they began to gather their computers and belongings.

Usagi jumped up from her chair, weaving her way through much taller college students, trying her best not to trip on the carpet in her haste to get down.

Her eyes flicked to the door. She _could_ technically rush out, and avoid him forever, but Usagi had never been one to run away from her feelings, and she didn't really want to start now, no matter how awkward of a situation she'd managed to create for herself.

So instead of bolting, she took in a deep breath, and began to walk towards Mamoru.

He was speaking with the professor, but his eyes made contact with hers, and to Usagi's surprise he held up a finger to her, indicating he wanted her to wait.

She began to fret a bit. Was he about ready to let her have it? Call the police and have her arrested for invading his personal space?

It was then she noticed a not so small group of girls hovering by the door closest to Mamoru, whispering amongst themselves with sly smiles that indicated they'd very much appreciate knowing what he looked like underneath the impeccable suit he wore.

Jealousy she knew she had no right to feel bubbled up in her to the point of bursting. Who did these women with mediocre hair think they were coming after him like that? Did they not realize the great lengths she'd had to go to to get here?

But she wasn't able to spare them another thought, because her vision was suddenly filled with a very solid, gray-suited form.

"Odango Atama." His voice filled her with excitement and dread. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Take a sudden interest in neurology?"

He was standing so close to her, she had to crane her neck back to look into his face. "H-hi, there," she stumbled out. "It's uh...well, I...I just needed to…"

Mamoru's face was amused. "Are you having a stroke? Do I need to go get my medical kit?"

So, this was how it was going to be, then? Snark and games. Well, he was about to learn that she could certainly give as good as she got.

"Funny," she said, her voice finally finding its footing. "I was thinking the same thing about you earlier."

He had the courtesy to blush and look away, clearing his throat.

The feeling that this had been a monumental mistake began to take over, and she Usagi looked past him towards the group of women still lingering near the door, the thought of running all the way home came back stronger than ever.

 _Be brave, Usagi!_ her inner voice cried, and she sucked in a shuddering breath, forcing herself to meet his eyes while the words rushed out of her.

"Listen, I know this is weird, and I just met you randomly on a train, but I can't get you out of my head," she said, delighting in the way his eyes widened and darkened at her words. At least she was having some kind of affect on him.

"And I know that you're so far out of my league it's not even funny. I mean, you just gave a lecture on brain stuff and didn't understand a _word_ of it, not that I didn't try, mind you," she was babbling, and his face was now amused.

"You're probably heading back to your life in Osaka, and that's fine. I get it, you don't owe me anything, Mamoru, but there was something between us. Something I can't even explain," she said, panic starting to rise up in her that this could all be over in a matter of seconds. "I would have regretted not finding you for the rest of my life and least trying to see if maybe you...might have possibly felt something too?"

She finished, and finally tore her eyes away from his when his expression turned unreadable, certain he was going to reject her straight away.

But there was mostly silence around them, only the sounds of a few lingering students in the room making plans to go to the local izakaya for drinks could be heard.

Usagi finally braved looking up at Mamoru again, and when she saw his face was blank, frustration boiled up in her.

"Well?!" she asked annoyed. "Aren't you going to say _something_?"

He took in a deep breath. "How do you feel about food, Odango Atama?"

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Food?"

"Yeah, you know, that thing that keeps us going? Gives us sustenance? Dinner and the like. Usually consumed in a social type setting. How do you feel about it?"

"Well, I…I mean, I do really love food-"

"Good," he said shrugging on his jacket. "Let's go then."

She couldn't resist a satisfied look over her shoulder towards the other door as they walked out, enjoying the disappointed looks on the faces of Mamoru's Fan Club much more than she ever should have.

 _oOo_

Usagi breathed in the steam coming off her ramen, and let out a pleasure-filled, ' _ahhh.'_

"Come here often?" she heard from beside her.

She turned to give Mamoru a glare. "To 7-Eleven?" she responded, glancing around the tiny store from where they sat at the counter. "Oh, yeah. Hottest date spot in town."

He was sitting next to her on a stool, his head resting in his hand as he gazed at her lazily, the picture of coolness and beautiful masculinity. A smart grey suit that hugged him in all the right places, crisp white shirt and black skinny tie that set off his dark blue eyes, leading up to that silky mop of hair.

She had nearly forgotten how _yummy_ he was in the eight hours since she'd seen him last.

Nearly.

"Oh, so this a date, then?"

Usagi blushed and looked down at her noodles. "Well, no, I just…" she stuttered before giving way to annoyance. "You're kind of a jerk, you know that?"

He smiled, and she was back to loving him again. "So I've been told."

They had tried her favorite izakaya next to Keio, a place he had apparently frequented in college, as well, but it was full to the brim. And the sushi belt place next door had a line longer than a shrine at New Years, and the grumbling of her stomach had lead Mamoru to awkwardly suggest they grab something at the conbini instead.

"You did really well, today, by the way," she said after slurping up a few noodles, the new silence bothering her.

"But you didn't understand a word of what I said," he replied, that growingly familiar amusement back in his voice.

"You don't have to remind me of my incompetence, you know," she snapped back without thinking, used to people like Rei teasing her about such things, completely forgetting for a moment that it was her own admission that had led him to say this.

"Usagi, I didn't mean-" he said, his face suddenly stricken.

She shook her head and bit her lip, embarrassed at her outburst, and angry that she'd ruined the light mood. So, she stuck more food in her mouth. That usually made everything better.

The warm broth gave her a bit of liquid courage to keep talking. "You could just tell you knew what you were talking about. And that you _loved_ what you were talking about."

"Love might be a strong word, Odango," he said, appearing to think, "but it is something I'm passionate about." He shrugged like admitting his feelings felt about as comfortable as getting a tooth pulled.

She noticed then he hadn't taken a single bit of his measly onigiri, when half of her ramen was gone, and two meat buns were waiting to be devoured, next. "Would you eat, please?" she asked in a huff. "You're making me feel self-conscious."

It wasn't really true, but it still felt weird with him just sitting there.

He took one of the rice balls in front of him and shoved the entire thing in his mouth, which caused her eyes to widen in shock.

"Better?" he asked a moment later after managing to swallow.

She covered her mouth to hide her giggle at the ridiculous spectacle he made. "No, you weirdo," she replied, reaching out to playfully swat his arm.

Usagi took a moment to take in his appearance again. Praying he didn't notice just how much her eyes lingered on his arms, the curve of his shoulder into his neck or the way his lips pulled slightly at the corners.

"You should really stop looking like you just stepped out of a shoujo manga. It's not fair," she pouted.

He snorted into a long sip of canned coffee. "Yeah, well, at least I'm not one of those saps who actually _likes_ shoujo manga."

" _Hey_!" Usagi cried, outraged. She reached over and punched his arm this time, causing him to wince.

"Geeze, Odango Atama," he said, rubbing his arm at the impact site. "You have freakish strength for such a tiny person."

"Keep making fun of my mangas and I won't be so nice next time."

"Nice?!" he asked incredulously. "You call that nice?"

She stood up off the stool, grabbing her purse, fully prepared to walk away from him, just like she had that morning at the train station. "Yes. I. Do. Mamoru-baka."

Stomping past him, she was surprised when she felt his hand on her arm, his fingers gently curling around her skin. "Wait, Usagi, don't, I'm sorry, ok?"

She stopped and turned towards him, hands her hips in an annoyed stance. "Sorry for what?" she asked, trying to ignore the thrilling sensation of him touching her.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Breathing?"

Usagi let out a huff of air herself, slightly less peeved at him, but only slightly. "That's a good start."

"I'm sorry I said something about shoujo manga," he said next, eyes staring straight into hers. "I'm a cynical asshole, who reads engineering articles for fun."

Usagi bit the inside of her cheek to keep from outright laughing at his confession. "You'll be nicer to me if I stay?"

He reached out and grabbed both of her hands in his, pulled them towards his chest, saying, "Cross my heart; hope to die," with such sincerity that she'd never have known he was teasing her, if his smirk wasn't a mile wide.

She rolled her eyes, reluctantly removed her hands from his hold and moved back to her stool. "Maybe you should have been an actor," she muttered, enjoying the small chuckle that left him.

"So, tell me, Usagi," he said, unwrapping another onigiri. "What are some other things you love?"

 _Besides you?_ _Let's see…_

"Naps, eating, video games," she rattled off. "Long walks, puppies, parties, hugs."

"Hugs?"

"Absolutely!" she said, enthusiastically nodding her head. "Hugs are the best! See?"

And for some reason, she found herself moving forward and wrapping Mamoru in one of her signature hugs, not a thought to how weird she was being crossed her mind until it was far too late, and her senses were overwhelmed with him.

He was tense and stiff to her touch, like clinging to big, muscly rock, but for some reason Usagi held on tightly, awkwardly hugging his middle section, while he sat on his stool.

She nuzzled into the crook of his neck in spite of herself, being the perfect height since he was seated, sighing in contentment for finally having the courage to do what she'd been longing to do since she'd first laid eyes on him that morning.

It took what felt like ages, but she felt Mamoru's arms tentatively wrap around her, patting her back awkwardly.

Usagi slowly, and achingly, pulled away, and looked at him expectantly.

He looked rattled, his face paler than it had been a few moments before when she'd practically thrown herself into his arms.

Mamoru cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the remaining rice he'd yet to eat, avoiding eye contact with her altogether.

She clamored back onto her seat, silently cursing herself for the obvious discomfort she'd caused him.

This was turning out to be a disastrous 'date' if there ever was one.

Long stretches of silence sat between them as they both continued to eat for lack of anything better to do.

"What are some things you love?" she found herself asking, both out of desperation to fill the quiet and genuine curiosity.

He took another long drink from his coffee before answering. "Productivity, reading, long runs, kittens, being alone and…" he paused and glanced at her out of the side of his eye, "not hugs."

Usagi recoiled a bit. "You just named the opposite of everything I said."

Mamoru reached out and tweaked her nose. "Ever the astute one, aren't you, Odango."

She let out an annoyed huff of air for probably the tenth time since they'd sat down to eat. "What do you _really_ love though? Besides this newfound love of pestering me?"

That comment earned her a smile. "I do love some of those things. Reading especially."

She found herself wondering what kind of books interested this complete enigma of a man, but he went on before she could ask.

"I also really enjoy gardening, Rachmaninoff and a good documentary," he finished with a noncommittal shrug.

It was as if the universe wasn't going to be content until she was able to understand just how ridiculously out-matched she was. Mamoru was brilliant, gorgeous, _cool_ the teenager still very present in her brain screamed.

And she was...well, her. Loud, klutzy crybaby Usagi.

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. But a beeping noise coming from his watch made her look up in surprise.

He looked at her almost sadly. "I've got to go make my reservation for the return trip in Shibuya."

For some inexplicable reason, Usagi jumped up, exclaiming, "I'll go with you!"

Mamoru looked at her like she'd grown a second head, pausing for too long of a second before nonchalantly replying, "Ok."

 _oOo_

They barely spoke a word to each other on the nearly half hour trek to Shibuya.

The walk to the station was pleasant enough, the crisp October air helping to clear her head a little.

He sighed once while they were waiting to cross the street, wistfully looking up towards Tokyo Tower, just now lighting up for the evening.

"I'm boring you aren't I?" she'd braved to ask, breaking their silent truce.

He shook his head without breaking his gaze on the tower. "No, I just...miss Tokyo sometimes."

Another crack in her heart with his name on it appeared. He was homesick, and having recently spent the past two weeks in Osaka, she totally understood that.

She couldn't imagine being so brave like Makoto, picking up and moving away from everything you knew to a new city, new people, new life.

But Usagi had never done well with change. She'd cried for an hour when her favorite Taiko no Tatsujin game broke down at the arcade and had to be replaced with some new, shiny thing. It had taken her two years to even give the new game a chance…

It was a Saturday evening, so the trains weren't all that crowded, though there were rarely any empty seats. So, she found herself standing right next to Mamoru, her nose practically right in the crook of his armpit.

Normally, in an instance such as this with a stranger, she would maneuver her body away from that kind of encounter. But something about being so close to him made her lose all sense of personal space. Not that she'd ever had much to begin with.

And to make matters worse, he smelled _good_. Like really good. Like something warm and spicy and masculine without being seeming as if he'd just emptied out an entire can of body spray on himself like so many guys thought was necessary.

She could even just imagine how it might be to kiss him as she stared up at his face while he stared blankly in front of him. He probably tasted lightly of coffee and the piece of chocolate she'd offered him from her purse while they were walking together. Like sweet, melt in your mouth-

"Ahh!" she cried, tumbling into Mamoru's solid form for the second time that day when the train jolted unexpectedly.

To his credit, he managed to stay upright from their collision, his face barely even registering any shock. It was as if he'd been catching her for lifetimes now.

"Odango Atama, where is your head?" he asked quietly, so very close to her ear, and she blushed, looking around at the numerous glares she'd received for her outburst.

"S-sorry," she replied. She wasn't used to feeling this out of sorts all the time, and it was really starting to mess with her head.

And when they finally made their way into the JR offices at Shibuya Station, Usagi wanted to crawl into a hole when the station employee assumed that Mamoru would be making two reservations back to Osaka.

Mamoru held out his hands, and let out a quick, flustered, "Oh, no, no, no."

It was quite possible she'd never been more mortified in her entire life.

Until she remembered the picture she'd taken of him on the train that morning. This strange, beautiful man who had so captured her like no one else ever had in such a short span of time. And now, he was set to leave early Monday morning?

The universe was most definitely against her.

They exited the station in silence, without having any clear plan as to what would happen next. It was eating Usagi up inside to the point where she felt ready to burst.

She closed her eyes when the cool, outside air hit her face, trying her best to calm her nerves and failing miserably. Looking up at the sky she sighed. At least the moon was full and beautiful tonight. She did love looking at the moon.

Looking over at Mamoru, she noticed him typing furiously on his phone with a furrowed brow.

"Did something happen?" she asked, concerned.

He startled at her voice. "N-no, just checking in with my cat sitter."

"Oh, right," she responded lamely.

He continued typing away for a moment, and Usagi stood next to him awkwardly.

She didn't want to leave him. Even though this would probably go down as the weirdest not-date she'd ever been on. But he wasn't making any moves to keep going, and she began to resign herself to the fact that maybe she _had_ been the only one to feel that crazy spark.

"Well-"

"Do you live close by here?"

They talked at the same time, and she noticed his eyes were wide, reflecting the bright neon colors of Shibuya Crossing.

Usagi smiled in relief. "Not too far, just over in Roppongi."

"Roppongi, huh? Not too shabby, Odango," he said, smiling back at her.

"Well, it's a tiny apartment that I share with a friend, and I eat a lot of instant ramen, so…" she trailed off with a sigh.

"But it's home, right?"

He was definitely right about that. "That it is."

Mamoru stuck his hands in his pockets, and let out a heaving breath. It was almost as if he was nervous about something, though what she couldn't put her finger on.

"Well, you said you like long walks, so," he said looking off in the general direction she would need to go. "Want to walk with me?"

She smiled even more brightly. "I do. But you have to _talk to me_ ," she admonished, playfully slapping his arm again.

"And you have to stop hitting me," he said back, reaching out to tug one of her long streamers of hair.

She stuck her tongue out at him, and giggled in delight when he returned the gesture. "Truce?"

"Truce."

They began their walk and Usagi had to admit she felt much lighter.

They made fun of the tourists snapping endless pictures of Hachiko, and Usagi enjoyed pressing her face into the window of the giant Starbucks across the square, gawking at some of the same tourists who were no doubt fawning over the dog statue before.

Talking came easier now, while they walked on into some of the less crowded areas of Shibuya, and Usagi found herself asking him about his practice and his daily life in Osaka.

He answered her freely, but she sensed it was still guarded somehow. His hands remained stuffed in his pockets, his lanky legs taking long, effortless strides. Mamoru was every bit the eligible bachelor doctor stereotype she'd seen in movies, and it made her ache in places that hadn't in a long time.

When they passed a brightly lit arcade, something caught her eye.

"Oh. My. God." she cried, stopping dead in her tracks.

"What?!" Mamoru asked, his voice sounding worried.

"It's _perfect_ ," Usagi said wistfully, pressing her nose against a window for the second time in less than twenty minutes.

Mamoru moved to stand by her, a confused expression marring his near perfect features. "What exactly am I looking at, here?"

Usagi rolled her eyes, pointing now. "There!" she said, willing him to understand.

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Usagi, you could be pointing at any number of things-"

"The rabbit, baka!" she interrupted, and smiled when his eyes finally fell on what had gotten her so excited.

It was the absolute perfect, soft, stuffed, fluffy bunny, sitting inside one of the main crane games inside the arcade. It reminded her of the tiny rabbits that adorned her comforter at home, and she _had to have it_.

"I need it," she announced with a tone that would lead any stranger who happened to overhear her believe this was a life or death situation. "Come on," she said, grabbing Mamoru's hand and dragging him inside.

He followed with a bewildered look on his face that made her giggle. "Seriously?" he asked.

"Listen, pal," Usagi said, noticing a flash in his eyes at the casualness of her word choice. "You're in this deep, ok? You had dinner with me. You asked to walk me home. You signed up for _me_ , and I am NOT," her voice raised dangerously in an instant, "going home without that bunny!"

"I don't really recall signing up for anything..." he said, trailing off at the withering look she gave him, hands on her hips, foot tapping impatiently, and he surrendered quickly with a sigh.

With another roll of his eyes, he opened the door to the arcade, and gestured with his arm. "After you."

She beamed and practically skipped inside, beelining straight for the machine with the prize she wanted.

Rubbing her hands together in glee, she began to plan her strategy. The bunny wasn't that close to the front, and was surrounded by numerous other stuffed creatures, but if she could knock it with the claw enough to loosen it, she could probably use the brute force of her hips to make sure it fell into a place where it could be easily grabbed.

She didn't realize she was frozen in thought until she heard Mamoru's voice from behind her.

"Uh...do you want me to...try and get it for you?"

Usagi whipped around, her long streamers of hair slapping him in the chest as she turned, not realizing he was so close to her.

"What?!" she scoffed. "No!"

He took a step back from the force of her response.

She flinched at her own ridiculousness, forgetting just how brash she could be sometimes, when to people who knew her well.

She let a soft smile play on her lips. "Did I not mention I'm an arcade game master?"

Relief spread through her when he smiled back. "No, I don't believe you did."

"Then watch the master at work," she said, turning back, and reaching into her purse to dig out some coins.

Her first pass with the claw went just as she'd hoped, and she let out a whoop when the claw gently knocked the rabbit, jiggling it loose just a bit.

"I thought you said you were good at this?"

She whipped around again. " _Strategy,_ Chiba!"

He held his hands up in surrender, and she rolled her eyes at him before turning back to her work.

Grabbing the corner of the machine, she spread her arms out on either side, her fingers digging into the glass, gripping them as hard as she could.

"Usagi, what are you doing?" he asked incredulously, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

" _Shhhh!"_ she hissed. "I need concentration!"

"You need concentration or you need to concentrate? Those are very different things, Odango," he drawled while she braced herself for the first impact of her hip bone against the machine, grateful that she'd decided to wear a romper today instead of a skirt, so she could straddle her new-found nemesis with ease.

Well, that and it made her ass look amazing. Or so Minako had told her.

She collided with the claw machine, once, twice, three times, grunting every time her hip came into contact with the hard metal. She knew she was making a spectacle of herself, but dammit, she really wanted that bunny.

It was then that she heard him laugh.

A deep, genuine, beautiful laugh that made her entire body feel warm and smooth, and the sound made every awkward moment of the day completely worth it.

Usagi turned her head towards Mamoru and smiled. He was laughing so freely it made her feel strangely free herself, and the light in his eyes made her breath catch. They were practically sparkling with happiness and...affection? She couldn't really tell, but she hoped she could find out as soon as she managed to get this stuffed bunny in her grasp.

He was still laughing at her as she hit the machine a fourth time with such force, Usagi managed to knock her prize down from it's perch, where it landed perfectly inside the bin.

Feeling very pleased with herself at only having to use one set of coins, she reached in and pulled out the bunny, sighing as her fingers connected with the softness of its fur.

She spun around with a smug look at her face. "I'm waiting," she said, clutching the rabbit to her chest, placing her chin on the crown of its head between the overly large ears.

Mamoru raised an eyebrow at her, but the mirth didn't leave his eyes one bit. "For?"

"You to admit that I am the master, of course," she said matter of factly.

He laughed heartily again for a few long moments. "Alright, you win. You _are_ the master."

Usagi beamed up at him, his good mood infectious. "Ready to go?" he asked, and she nodded.

She sighed in contentment when the cool night air hit her face, and as they started to walk along again, she heard him ask from beside her, "So, what's its name?"

"Huh?" she responded, confused.

He pointed towards the large rabbit she was carrying. "Your new friend there."

"What makes you think I name my stuffed animals?"

The left side of his mouth quirked up. "You just strike me as someone who would."

Her eyes widened. "You mean, you didn't?"

Mamoru stiffened a bit. "I didn't have many stuffed animals growing up. The one I had was a dog named, 'dog.'"

"Oh, my god," she said, horrified. "What sad, deprived childhood did you have?"

He kept his eyes straight ahead, his jawline set and rigid. "You don't even want to know."

Of course, she did, but Usagi could tell this wasn't an overwhelming awkward not first date kind of subject, so she let it go.

"Well, we're changing that now," she said, running up ahead of him walking backwards to face him so he'd be forced to look at her. "You have to help me name her."

"Usagi!" he cried suddenly, reaching out to grab her arm and wrench her out of the way.

"What?!" she responded, looking around frantically. She'd apparently been ready to collide with a lamppost. "Oh, sorry."

He let out a breath of air. "Just stop trying to get yourself hurt, ok?" he said, continuing to walk on.

"If I do, will you help me name her?" she asked, jogging to catch back up with him.

She noticed he didn't roll his eyes, only smiled. "Sure, Odango. What are your thoughts?"

Usagi looked down at the soft bundle in her arms. "Hmm, maybe Chibi-Usa?"

He laughed. "Named after you, I suppose?"

She blushed, trying to rack her brain for the perfect response. She finally came up with, "Technically every rabbit is named after me."

Mamoru was still laughing at her, and she couldn't bring herself to be mad at the sound. "I think it's much more likely that you're named after the rabbits, but we'll go with yours."

"I knew you'd see it my way," she said. "What do you think her name should be."

He reached out and tenderly rubbed his long fingers on one of the bunny's ears, and she found herself wishing he'd do the same to her skin. "Chibi-Usa is fitting, but I think her name should be something softer. More like the feel of the fur."

His voice was so soft and velvety, Usagi felt that growingly familiar warmth pooling in her. "Like what?" she whispered.

She swallowed hard when his eyes met hers. They were still walking, but she had no idea if they were still on the right path, or getting ready to walk into the river, and she didn't care either way.

"Usako," he said after a long moment, his gaze never wavering. It didn't sound like a name for the stuffed rabbit. It sounded like he was addressing _her_. Like it was a name for _her_.

She could feel her cheeks burning, and she broke her eyes away from his. At least she knew now that they were still walking in the right direction.

The quiet between them was so charged, Usagi wasn't sure what to do. She had been attracted to people before, but this was...another level entirely. If she listened to what her body was telling her to do, she'd be tackling him in the street.

And she found herself imagining all the things she would do to him if her fantasy was real, with her mouth on his as she pressed him against the little flower shop window for all to see. He'd squeeze his hands around her waist, fingers trailing over her ribcage, as she raked her tongue across his teeth, causing him to moan her name, " _Usako_ ," into her mouth, and she'd sigh, " _Mamo-chan_ ," at the feel of his hands brushing against the sides of her breasts.

"Earth to Usagi," Mamoru's voice filtered in through her thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked what you were doing in Osaka, before?" he repeated, eyes soft and almost concerned.

She had to look away from him again as the dirty, enticing thoughts returned. "Oh, my friend Makoto just opened up her own bakery there, and I went to help her out for a couple of weeks while she got started."

"Oh, really? What's the name of her place?"

"The Rosebud Cafe," she replied, suddenly missing her warm, motherly Mako-chan so much her heart ached. She would know what to do in this weird situation. She would make sure Usagi was taken care of.

"I'll have to check it out," he said, and Usagi nodded her head vigorously.

"Oh, absolutely! Mako-chan is the _best_ cook ever. She makes these sugar cookies that I swear are better than sex," she babbled without thinking.

Mamoru sputtered next to her, coughing. "That's...specific," he said, and she could see how bright red his cheeks were, even in the dim light around them.

She felt her heart skip a beat at the sight. "You'll just have to go find out for yourself."

He looked back towards her, eyes open and clear, but the pink on his skin still lingered. "I guess I will."

Usagi looked around her and startled a bit. They had arrived outside her apartment building, and her heart began to race, trying to think of ways she could extend this, make it keep going, make him want to stay.

"This is me," she said quietly, her tone deflated despite her best efforts to keep it light.

"Oh," was all he said, and she could tell he was nervous about something, though what she couldn't say.

They were at an impasse again, a long silence threatening to drown out all her favorite moments from her time with him.

 _Be brave, Usagi!_

She'd listened to her inner voice more than once that day, and it had led her here, after all. She decided to listen one more time.

"Do you want to come up?"

"Could I maybe come see your place?"

They spoke at the same time in a rush.

A sly smile lit Usagi's face. "You want to come up to my apartment?"

He blushed and shook his head, flustered. "No, I'm sorry, I just-"

Usagi walked closer to him, setting her stuffed rabbit gently on the tops of her shoes. She reached up and grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket, bringing his face down so their noses touched.

"I want you to come up to my apartment."

His eyes were huge at her words. She could barely tell where his pupils ended and his irises began. He nodded in agreement, and Usagi released him for a brief moment, bending down to pick up her newest toy, before she grabbed his hand, and led him inside.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: A huge, huge thanks to FloraOne for her help with this fic and all the others I take 45 years to write. I'm currently sitting in her apartment in Germany, and we managed to plan the rest of this fic out, so I think you have a lot to look forward to and it hopefully won't take another year to get it done...HOPEFULLY._

 _Please let me know what you think, and thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far and not given up on this!_

 _oOo_

The door clicked shut behind them with a startling finality that filled Usagi with a large amount of uncertainty, but also a heat that seemed to radiate from the very core of her.

Mamoru was here. In her apartment. And she was pretty sure she'd made it very clear on the street that she intended to sex him up if he was into it.

 _Mamoru was here in her apartment._

They shuffled around each other awkwardly in the small genkan, bumping into each other as Mamoru took the time to bend down and neatly place his shoes by the wall, while Usagi kicked hers off in her usual haphazard sort of way.

"Would you…like some tea?" Usagi asked hesitantly, not really sure what came next. "It's one of the few things I can make without starting a fire…now, anyway."

He smiled at that, and she felt some of the tension go out of her shoulders. "Sure, I'd love some."

She smiled back and practically skipped off to the kitchen. It was only when she'd put the kettle on the stove, that she realized she'd been a terrible host.

Running back to the living room, she found Mamoru standing in the exact spot she'd left him, his eyes looking around like he was completely unsure what to do.

"I'm so sorry!" Usagi rushed out, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Please, have a seat anywhere you like."

This apparently amused him as well, the left side of his mouth quirking up in a smirk, as he turned to head towards the couch.

Looking hastily around the area, she found that there were no dirty clothes strewn in places other than the hamper, and no dirty dishes stuck to the coffee table.

In that moment, Usagi was eternally grateful that one of Minako's bouts of the cleaning bug had hit while she'd been out of town, leaving the place palatable to the average person.

As she walked back to the kitchen, she found herself wondering if Mamoru was a neat freak.

 _Probably_ she snorted to herself. She could just imagine his dull grey apartment back in Osaka, with boring medical books, and neatly folded underwear tucked into his dresser drawer.

"What's so funny?"

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice.

"N-nothing!" she squeaked, whirling around to face him. "You didn't want to sit down in the living room?"

He leaned against the kitchen entry wall, looking as cool and poised as could be. "Admittedly, it was rather entertaining to look at your rather large collection of cute, pink things, but you're _in here_ , and not out there, so..."

He trailed off, and she sucked in a breath at his admission. She couldn't think of anything to say in response, so she turned back to the tea, fumbling in the cabinets for cups.

"You said you have a roommate, right? Where is she?"

Usagi smiled to herself. "You assume it's a she?" she replied, not turning around.

"Well, no, I just-"

Usagi could sense how much she'd flustered him, could imagine him running a hand through his hair. It made her grin.

She turned around, and gave him a warm smile. " _She_ , Minako, is out for the night with her boyfriend of the week."

"How do you know she won't be back?" he asked, seeming nervous.

Usagi giggled a bit. "Trust me. She won't be back tonight."

Artemis hopped down from his perch on top of the fridge, then, startling them both. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at Mamoru's form, as he trotted over to the tall man boldly, sniffing him.

Usagi braced herself for the inevitable hissing to follow. Artemis could be such a crotchety old man sometimes, but to her surprise, when Mamoru reached down to offer his hand, the pure white cat, began to nuzzle him, purring loudly.

"That's weird," Usagi said, the scene in front of her equally confusing her and making her insides turn to goo, as Artemis jumped into Mamoru's waiting arms like a small child. "He's not a people person."

Mamoru scratched the cat behind the ears. "Neither am I. Maybe he senses I'm a kindred spirit," he said, mischief lighting his features.

"Must be it," she said, in serious danger of getting lost in the blue of his eyes.

She jumped slightly when the kettle blew, stupidly stating, "tea's ready," as she busied herself again with her back to him.

"He does have that exact same spot that Luna does," Mamoru mused quietly behind her. "But why did your roommate name him after a goddess, though? Did she not realize, or?"

Usagi snickered. "Oh, I'm sure she realized. Minako is about as feminist as they come. She probably gave him the most feminine name she could think of. What's better than a goddess, after all?"

She walked over, and held out her arms to Artemis. "Come on, Artemis," she said cheerily, and she could have sworn the cat was genuinely glaring at her. He could be so... _human_ sometimes. "Let's leave Mamoru alone and go get your dinner."

Artemis didn't move. Instead he lifted up a paw and began grooming himself, acting as if Usagi didn't even exist.

She huffed at him, and Mamoru laughed heartily at the cat's obvious attempt to ignore Usagi.

"What if I fed you?" he asked Artemis, with a good scratch behind his ears. Artemis meowed at him, jumping down from his arms, beginning a fast trot out of the kitchen.

"Little brat," Usagi muttered.

"Aw, don't worry, Odango," he said, reaching out to cup her cheek, his eyes lit with obvious affection. His thumb ran across her skin, and her pulse raced at his touch. "It's just beginners luck, is all. He's had a lot of years to build up a resistance to your charms."

Usagi's eyes widened at his words. "My...charms?" she managed to squeak out, her voice sounding very much unlike itself.

He smiled softly, and she smiled back in spite of the nervousness she felt, unable to resist the beautiful sight he made standing so close to her. She leaned into his touch, letting her eyes flutter closed for a moment while his thumb stroked back and forth, allowing herself to indulge in the feel of him.

"Mmm," he murmured, leaning his forehead down to press against hers.

He was so close she could feel his breath on her lips, could see the intensity of his eyes, which seemed to be clouded with something she couldn't quite name.

Something had switched in him, she'd noticed, as her eyes clashed with his and she licked her lips in anticipation. He was being bolder with her. His eyes more confident, as he touched her face and stroked her skin.

And it turned her on in ways she didn't know were possible.

Visions of him between her legs, sweat breaking out on his muscled skin, as he moaned and moved so deeply in her she couldn't help but cry out from the exquisiteness of it all, flitted through her mind, making her burn with desire.

Her hands came up to grasp his chest, desperately needing to hold onto something, as her insides and legs turned to complete jelly. She contemplated dragging him into her bedroom and locking the door, never, ever letting him escape the confines of her room, her bed, her arms.

Because _this_ feeling, whatever it was, she knew it was special. Knew it was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. And how could she possibly let that go?

They were so close to kissing, and the anticipation was killing her. She'd never been one for patience. It was so overrated.

She flicked her eyes down to his lips, biting back a groan at how soft and full and kissable they were.

Mamoru chuckled at her obvious display of wanting, and her hands clutched at the fabric of his dress shirt.

"Want something?" he asked softly, his bangs tickling her forehead.

Usagi swallowed hard. Her brain scrambling for an answer, and she almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

Here she was, standing intimately in her kitchen with a practical stranger that she'd met on a train twelve hours before. But he didn't feel like a stranger, and she was simultaneously more comfortable with him and freaked out by him than she ever had been by anyone in her life.

"I do," she finally managed to say.

"And what would that be?" he whispered huskily, the smirk gone from his face. It was his turn to look down at her lips.

But before she could answer they were interrupted by a long, sad mewling from Artemis, as he came back to the kitchen in an apparent search for Mamoru who had promised to feed him.

Usagi shut her eyes, and nearly cried in response to the cock-blocking cat. "I think he wants you to follow him," she told Mamoru who had snapped back up to his full height, a distinct tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Right. Food," he said, running a hand through his hair.

The two left the kitchen, and Usagi stumbled back towards the counter holding onto it for dear life. "He gets one cup!" she called out, voice shaking and betraying the mess that her insides still were.

She took in a deep breath and finally turned back to the cooling tea. Placing the cups on the small serving tray she walked as quickly as she could without spilling everything into the living room, not trusting her legs to stay steady any longer than they absolutely had to.

She placed the tray on the coffee table, and then collapsed in a heap onto the couch, letting out a huff of air that ruffled her bangs.

Closing her eyes, she let herself sink into the soft couch cushions, trying her best to calm her still wildly beating heart, and forget the overwhelming sensation of having Mamoru Chiba so close.

She was concentrating so hard on breathing deeply, that she missed the soft footfalls walking closer, and she startled a bit when the couch bent under the weight of Mamoru sitting next to her.

"That bad, huh?" he asked, voice deep and silky.

Usagi relaxed again, closing her eyes with a shake of her head. "No, it's just been a long day."

"Do you…" he started quietly, looking towards the door. "Do you want me to go?"

She sprang up from her slouched position, and he jumped at the sudden movement.

"No!" she cried out, latching her hand onto his arm that was nearest to her.

She was being crazy, and she knew it, clinging to him like that, all but begging him to stay. But he had that amused look back in his eyes, so it couldn't be all that bad.

"Unless, you...want to," she managed to choke out, taking her hand back and immediately missing the contact with his warmth.

But she didn't have to miss him for long, as he reached over to gently take her hand back, lacing his fingers through hers.

Usagi looked up at him, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. She was amazed at how gentle and soft this giant of a man was. As if she needed any other reasons to fall completely and irrevocably in love with him.

"No," he said, his voice calm, but with just as much resolve as she'd shouted no just a moment ago. "I don't want to go."

A tiny smile curled at her lips, before she looked back down at their clasped hands, a heavy silence settling over them, as their tea lay forgotten and cold on the coffee table.

She _needed_ this. Needed him. Needed him to do any number of inexplicably dirty things to her body for hours on end, and in turn she'd worship him like the sex on legs he was.

So, it really wasn't that much of a surprise what blurted out of her mouth next.

"Do you want to see my bedroom?"

 _Smooth, Usagi_ she thought to herself, as she cringed, resisting the heavy urge to slap her forehead at her ridiculous antics. _You might as well have just begged him to fuck you._

Mamoru's other hand gently grabbed her chin, and her eyes locked on his.

He swallowed as his eyes searched hers, and Usagi noticed how his eyes looked nearly black.

"Yes. Show me everything."

It was a blur after those words came out of his mouth. She knew she'd instantly stood to her feet with him in tow. She pulled him by his hand towards the only destination she'd really had in mind since the moment she'd laid eyes on him that morning.

She launched herself at him, her hand reaching behind her blindy for the door handle, their lips colliding, as his hands came up to hold her underneath her bum, while her legs wrapped around him in a vice grip.

Most of her first kisses with other men had been chaste and sweet, tentative even. Nothing at all like the searing fire that surged through her and into him as they kissed and sucked and nipped.

But she couldn't keep herself from taking everything he was willing to give, his hands squeezing her bottom and lips trailing hot and wet down her neck, while her hands clutched in the silkiest hair she'd ever felt.

His feet began to move towards the bed, and she screeched a bit, clinging to him, and he chuckled at her, deep in his chest.

"I won't drop you," he cajoled near her ear, sending a new wave of shivers down her spine.

With the muscles she could clearly feel underneath his now rumbled dress shirt, she believed him whole-heartedly.

Mamoru lowered her to the bed gently, his large form looming over her, pupils wide in the darkness of the room with only the lights from the bright street lamp just outside her window to light the room.

Usagi reached up to grab his skinny, black tie, pulling him down for another kiss after deciding it had been far too long since she'd felt his lips on hers.

She sat up as her tongue raked the bottom of his teeth, fumbling madly with the buttons of his shirt, while he loosened and ripped off his tie.

But she broke away, slightly startled, when she felt his large hand cover hers, stilling it on his chest.

He smiled boyishly, causing her stomach to flip, and her center to ache.

"Let me help you," he said, leaning down to peck her lips.

And she was left to ogle as he swiftly unbuttoned his shirt with practiced ease. The white fabric fluttering to the floor, his chest now laid bare.

Usagi reached out, trailing her hand down his stomach, delighting in the lean muscles of his abs, and imagining what it would be like to lick chocolate off of his skin.

He shivered under her touch. His eyes closing, while he sucked in a breath.

She scrambled away from him on the bed suddenly, the need to get out of her clothes becoming overwhelming while she watched Mamoru's bare chest rise and fall with haggard breaths.

His face registered alarm at the new distance between them, and she leaned toward him again to place a reassuring kiss on his now swollen lips.

"Too many clothes," she mumbled against his mouth, before breaking away again and making quick work of the romper, leaving her clad in the only set of 'sexy' underwear she owned, a black lace ensemble that Minako had practically forced her to buy, "just in case."

And that's why she had donned it that afternoon before running out to catch his lecture. _Just in case_ her mind had reasoned, even as she shook her head at herself in the mirror, knowing the odds of her enticing a practical stranger to her bed were slim to none.

But now, she was glad she'd worn them.

Especially if the way his mouth hung open and his eyes appeared to drink her up as if he were a man lost in the desert who stumbled upon an oasis were any indication of what she was doing to him.

She saw him swallow hard, his hands clenching at his side as if he was having to physically restrain himself from touching her.

Scooting back over to him, her hands reached out to his belt buckle and her eyes latched onto his.

He gave her a nod, and her impatient fingers moved as quickly as she could make them. A sudden, desperate need to see _all_ of him filling her to the brim.

Mamoru's hands snapped up to her waist, holding onto her while she pushed his pants down and away from his body. His breathing was uneven, taking in large gulps of air while his eyes watched her fingers fumble with his belt, and Usagi found It took everything in her not to hiss in pleasure at the feel of his large, warm hands on the skin near her belly.

He stepped out of his pants and kicked them away, and Usagi wasted no time in pulling him back to her. Her arms wrapped around his neck when she kissed him, delighting in the feel of his body against hers.

She was on her knees on the bed, and with Mamoru standing, she was almost level with him, giving her perfect access to his hair and the taut muscles that pulled in his shoulders and back.

He was delicious in every sense of the word, and Usagi couldn't resist grinding her hips into him, enjoying the moan they released into each others mouths at the friction.

But it wasn't enough, she decided as the press of his arousal became more apparent with each passing second.

He broke away with a start, holding her at arm's length, his hands gripping her shoulders in a strange mix of firm and gentle.

She searched his eyes as well as she could in the dark, suddenly nervous. "What's wrong?"

Mamoru pulled her back to him briefly for a kiss so intense that she was sure would start a fire on the soft cotton of her bed.

"Are you sure?" he murmured against her mouth.

Usagi had to bite back a completely inappropriate bark of laughter. _Was she_ sure?

Never more of anything in her entire life.

She placed her forehead against his, their eyes clashing for what must have been the hundredth time that day since she'd first laid eyes on him on the train.

Her response formed effortlessly on her lips, suddenly feeling like the most important thing she'd ever say.

"Yes."

 _oOo_

"C'mere," his deep voice slurred, and Usagi sighed in total contentment as she was pulled into against the sticky skin of his chest, strong arms encircling her in an embrace she knew had no right to feel like home, yet it did.

Usagi glanced tiredly at the clock hung high on the wall. It was well past three in the morning, and she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

They'd spent hours exploring and tasting each other, and any fears she'd had about bringing her own awkwardness to the table had been completely unfounded.

She'd had sex a handful of times before, but this...this was...otherwordly.

The men she'd fallen into bed with before had been enthusiastic, certainly, but they had only ever managed to do what they thought she wanted, what they thought sex should be like.

But Mamoru just seemed to know. Knew what buttons to push, when to touch and where, how to rub his thumb and tongue and teeth in just the right way to send her crying out over the edge.

He knew what he was doing. He fit her somehow in every possible way. The back of her brain told her it was probably because he'd had so much experience. A man who looked like Mamoru Chiba didn't make it to his age without having countless women grace his bed.

It made her heart clench thinking it was always like this for him. But she pushed it down, the safety of his arms and the gentle rise and fall of his chest was enough to convince her that this was all she needed. For now.

She felt his arms tighten around her and his nose nuzzle the top of her head.

"I thought you didn't like hugs?" she asked, unable to resist burrowing her face into the crook of his neck.

"I lied," he practically growled, hugging her to him even more tightly for a moment, and she giggled.

She let her eyes droop closed, enjoying the weight of his chin on the top of her head, and she was surprised when he spoke again.

"Still want some of those cookies?"

Usagi lifted her head to look at him in confusion. "What?"

His eyes blinked open blearily. "The cookies your friend makes. You said they're better than sex."

Her face flushed at the memory. The irony that this made her blush after everything he'd done to her over the past few hours wasn't lost on her.

She placed a kiss to his chest, and his steady breath caught at the touch.

"Mamo-chan," she said slowly, enjoying how his eyes widened at the name. "I can honestly say, I haven't thought about food for like...three hours, now."

He smiled, and closed his eyes again. "Good, Usako."

"Are you talking to my bunny?" she asked incredulously, unable to fathom anyone would call her by such a sweet, tender name that he'd given to the stuffed toy a few hours earlier.

He pulled her closer. "No, I'm talking to you."

 _oOo_

She was jostled awake by movement, a sudden feeling of emptiness floated through her sleepy brain, as she realized Mamoru was leaving the bed.

" _Mmmnooo,_ " she whined, reaching out for him, and accidentally swatting his chest while he tried to delicately extricate himself from her hold.

She heard his quiet laugh, and then his voice was near her ear.

"Shhh, go back to sleep," he said with a kiss to her temple.

"Where you going?" she asked, voice still heavy with sleep, but a bit of panic set in that he might be leaving.

"Just to make some coffee," he said from what sounded like near the door. "I'm not going anywhere, Usako."

When she heard the door close softly, she rolled over into the warmth he'd left in her sheets, and sighed contentedly.

There really was no better place in the world than her bed.

Manga reading happened there. Anime watching on her laptop happened there. Sleep happened there. And now, apparently sex with gorgeous doctors happened there, too.

God, she loved her bed.

There wasn't anything that could possibly make her want to leave this safe, happy haven.

Except, perhaps, the smell of cooking bacon.

She sat straight up, suddenly fully awake, and her stomach grumbled in distaste at smelling such heavenly food but not being able to enjoy it.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Usagi picked up Mamoru's starched white shirt from the day before, and haphazardly buttoned a few buttons.

She resisted the urge to look at herself in the mirror, knowing she'd obsess over how ridiculous her hair looked at the moment if she did, and quickly made her way towards the kitchen.

The sight that greeted her made her bite her lip to keep a ridiculous grin from spreading across her face.

Mamoru- obnoxious, awkward, brilliant, gorgeous, sexy Mamoru- was standing in her kitchen clad only in his underwear, while he sipped on coffee and bent over the stove.

He caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye, then, and turned with a slow smile, his eyes going dark.

Usagi walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his middle (they were barely long enough to manage), and she leaned her head against his back.

She felt his laugh rumble deep in his chest. "I thought you were going back to sleep?"

"You made bacon," she replied matter-of-factly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ahh, so bacon is worth getting out of bed for?" he asked, turning around in her embrace.

Usagi found herself pressed against his chest, and she sighed contentedly at the feel of his warm skin under her cheek. "Every. Time."

He laughed at her again, and she found the sound was quickly becoming her favorite. "Would you do me a favor and find plates for us?"

She nodded enthusiastically, and hopped away to begin rummaging through cabinets.

"Your parents certainly got your name right," he said, amusement evident in his voice.

"What do you mean?" she responded, peeking at him from behind a cabinet door.

Mamoru just smiled warmly at her and shook his head. "Nothing."

She looked at him quizzically, wondering to herself if she would ever be able to figure him out. "No offense, but you're weird."

But he just winked at her. "You say these things like I don't already know them."

The next half hour passed in perfect synchronicity. They moved together as if it were a practiced norm. Usagi setting the small table and pouring orange juice while Mamoru cooked the bacon just how she liked it without even asking (crispy in the middle, less done on the ends) and buttered the perfectly done toast.

Usagi chattered away about her life, her job, her friends, while she demolished a dozen slices of bacon, and Mamoru listened attentively, asking questions here and there, and she knew he was genuinely interested.

He even revealed little bits about himself and his life in Osaka. He was so busy with his work at the hospital and volunteering at a local clinic once a week that his social life was lacking, but he'd been trying to be more proactive about it, going out in groups with his co-workers every so often for drinks and attending the mixers the hospital threw every few months.

It almost made her feel as if they were actually dating. This easy sort of interaction that she'd never quite felt before made it so easy to pretend this wasn't just a one time thing. And instead of fighting it, she fell deeper and deeper into the illusion that this was real.

But reality had a funny way of reminding her it was very much still in play.

Usagi stiffened when she heard the key turning in the lock, and her gaze flew immediately to Mamoru, who seemed to have frozen in shock, his eyes wide.

"Usagi! I'm home!" she heard, Minako's sing-song voice call from the doorway. "I swear is there not one single man on this planet who knows how to _make love_ anymore? I'm seriously considering switching to women permanently."

Mamoru's expression read of complete terror, and Usagi glanced around trying to think of any means of escape, while Minako rattled on.

"Did you make bacon? It doesn't smell burnt…"

Usagi scrambled for something to say, jumping to her feet to run interference before Minako managed to round the corner into the kitchen. "Uh...Mina, I-"

But she wasn't fast enough, because it was then that her roommate came into view, a surprised, yet delighted expression on her face when her eyes first landed on Mamoru, and then slid slowly over to Usagi.

"Oh, _hello_ ," Minako drawled, her eyebrows raised practically to her hairline, as she leaned against the wall casually.

Usagi rushed over to her friend and grabbed her arm, trying her best to lead the girl out of the room. But Minako stood fast.

"Usagi, you're being so rude to our _guest_!" she chided, looking over at Mamoru with what could only be described as an appreciative gaze. "Wait, I know you from somewhere."

Usagi's eyes widened in horror. "Mina, I don't think you-"

"Were you one of the guys I hooked up with at that political science mixer at Waseda a couple of years back?"

Mamoru coughed, his face beat red, as he glanced around the room, almost as if he was looking for any kind of escape. "Uhh...n-no, I went to Keio."

"Hmm," Minako appeared thoughtful before her face lit up, and she pulled out her phone. She walked nearer to him, holding the phone close to his face, the picture that Usagi had sent her the day before lighting up her screen.

Usagi had never felt more like crawling into a hole to die.

"Ah ha! You're the 5.6 from yesterday."

His brow furrowed. "The what?"

Minako walked around him a bit in the chair. "Though I have to say, I need to raise my rating. You don't photograph well, but the package isn't bad at all."

"Minako!" Usagi cried, as she watched Mamoru's face go through a range of emotions she couldn't quite name, though none of them good.

"Do you work out for a living, or something?"

"No!" he barked, his arms coming up to cross in front of his chest in what seemed like an effort to hide himself. "I'm a doctor."

" _Ohhh_!" Minako cried delightedly, "8.3."

Usagi groaned and buried her head in her hands wishing some terrible monster from an alternate dimension would take that exact moment to attack and end her misery.

"I approve of this," Minako went on. "So proud!" she said, patting Usagi on the arm.

Usagi glanced back at Mamoru praying he'd glance her way so she could do her best to apologize with her eyes, but his gaze remained resolutely on the tea cup in front of him.

"Anyway, I've got to run and meet Rei for breakfast and you know how she is about me being late," Minako said with a flip of her hair, as she walked away from them and out of the kitchen.

But before she left, she leaned back around the corner, and loudly whispered. " _There's condoms in my nightstand if you run out._ "

Usagi stood frozen on the cold tile of the kitchen, completely unsure of what to do or say that could even possibly make the situation any less awkward.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Mamoru spoke first.

"So, how often do you go around assigning ratings to people?"

"Mamoru, I-" she started, fumbling for words.

She remained rooted to her spot when he rose from his chair, and stalked past her, mumbling, "I'm going to take a shower."

 _oOo_

Usagi stood outside the bathroom door battling with herself for a good five minutes after hearing the water begin to run.

He'd seemed so freaked out after Minako had made her grand entrance, and she couldn't blame him really. Her mind just kept going back to what she'd feel like if the roles were reversed. If his roommate walked in on her half naked in his apartment, and then proceeded to make suggestive comments for the duration of the conversation.

Whatever slight peace they'd managed to create within the walls of her bedroom the night before seemed to shatter when the real world stepped in.

She knew she should just leave him alone. Let him shower and dress in his walk of shame clothes and head back to Motoki's place. It's not like this was going anywhere, anyway.

She knew that when she invited him up to her apartment the night before. She knew that when she'd invited him into her bed and when she fell asleep in his arms. No matter how inappropriate Minako could be, she couldn't be blamed for this inevitably.

No one was to blame for that except Usagi.

But she just wasn't ready to let him go, no matter how selfish it was, and the need to see him, the need for reassurance, eventually won out.

She opened and closed the door as quietly as she could, grateful for the strong water pressure covering up the sounds she was making.

Unbuttoning Mamoru's shirt that she'd donned, she let it flutter to the ground. With tentative hands she reached out to pull back the flowery curtain that separated her from the man she so desperately wanted to see.

He didn't move when she stepped in. He had one hand pressed against the shower wall, his eyes closed and form stiff as he let water pour over his head.

Without thinking, she reached for the soap, and began to lather it over the strong muscles of his back, not saying a word.

He tensed at her touch, but as soon as it came, it was gone, and she saw his shoulders relax, and his posture slouch while her hands moved and rubbed over him.

Neither of them spoke, but Usagi began to work her way down the backs of his legs, caressing his thighs and calves, unable to keep herself from marveling at the sheer power of his form.

She reached her hands around him, and stroked the planes of his chest. She could feel his stomach flex at her touch, knew her fingers were arousing him, but she stopped short of that, only allowing her hands to feel the jutting bones of his hips.

Mamoru slowly turned then, letting his hand drop from the wall. His eyes were intense and unreadable, and Usagi unwittingly took a step back.

But he followed her, eyes never breaking her gaze, and took the soap from her hands.

She closed her eyes when she felt the amazing softness of his hands on her body, while he began to return the favor.

He was impossibly gentle, long fingers brushing over her breasts and neck in barely there touches that sent jolts of electricity through her.

It was overwhelming being this close to him. Being touched by him. What must it be like to be _loved_ by him?

She had to bite her lip to keep tears from spilling over, swallow hard to keep the choking cry that welled up in her throat down.

His hands stilled on her form, and Usagi opened her eyes to see Mamoru staring at her, his expression softer than it had been, and she sucked in a breath.

A lone, traitorous tear escaped her eye, and he reached up to cup her face and wipe it away.

She leaned into his touch. "I'm not ready," she whispered, finally breaking the silence.

She was afraid to voice her thoughts out loud. His possible rejection stung her before he could even say the words, but his thumbs stroked her cheek, coaxing her to continue.

"I'm not ready for this to end, Mamo-chan," she spilled out. "I can't-"

He interrupted her with a desperate, bruising kind of kiss that chased all thought from her mind.

It was unlike anything she'd ever felt, even in their time together the night before, he hadn't poured this much into her. He was soft and sweet, demanding and powerful all at once, and when his tongue swept into her mouth, Usagi let out a tortured moan.

He broke away too soon, and she nearly fell trying to chase after him. But he steadied her with his hands, and crushed her to him, his arms almost lifting her off the tile floor of the shower.

With his chin on her head, he spoke his first words to her since she'd stepped under the water with him.

"Spend the day with me?"

 _oOo_

They stumbled through the door, barely managing to kick off their shoes before Usagi's back was pressed into the small cubicle that held various parts of Motoki's life, and Mamoru's mouth was back where it belonged.

She hissed as the wood of the furniture scraped her back, and Mamoru mumbled, "sorry," but she just shook her head, and sighed happily when he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he clumsily walked towards the bedroom while still kissing her mouth and neck and face and his hands squeezed her bottom.

He laid her down on the unfamiliar bed much like he had the night before, but there was no hesitation this time, her hands diving into the knit cardigan he wore and her fingers clawed at the tight black t-shirt that kept his skin from her.

His erection stood out painfully in the skinny jeans that covered his legs, and she couldn't help but pull him down with her legs so she could grind herself against him, enjoying the strangled sound that left him immensely.

Usagi could tell he was trying to take things slow, but Usagi was having none of it, as every piece of her clothing fell to the floor in a heap, and she pouted at him while pulling at his the button on his jeans in frustration.

"Is Motoki going to be mad?" she asked during a brief moment of clarity, concern for the opinion of one of her oldest and dearest friends pushing its way to the surface through the surging of hormones and desire.

Mamoru's lips paused at the crook of her neck, and she felt a huff of air that felt like a laugh. "Considering the number of times he's offered his apartment for me to have sex in before, I highly doubt it."

He broke away from her then to dig in his wallet for a condom, and Usagi did her best to push down the fear that crept into her thoughts.

It had been an easy day between them. She'd insisted on taking him shopping so he wouldn't be stuck in his suit pants and dress shirt all day, and she'd loved every minute of his huffing and eye rolls as she suggested 'ridiculous' things for him to try on, before he finally settled on the simple casual outfit he'd recently discarded to the floor.

She'd told him of her friends and family, and he talked more of his job and the small circle that was his life in Osaka. She'd even allowed him a few bites of her ice cream.

It had been nice. It felt like they could be an actual couple. But nothing had been defined. Nothing had been decided.

But it was easy to let it all slip from her mind as his body settled over her and he filled her to the brim.

 _oOo_

"I'll call you," he said, as they stood right outside the entrance to the shinkansen gates, and Usagi furiously tapped her number into his phone.

They'd woken up way too late. Mamoru had to rush around to throw things into his bag, while she'd dressed blearily in her clothes from the day before, and tried to make her hair look a little more rabbit like and a lot less 'I just had amazing sex all night,' like.

He'd grabbed her hand and pulled her along all the way to the station, only briefly letting go when they went through the turnstiles, but quickly pulling her back as soon as she was free, but she didn't allow herself to feel how happy it made her.

She scoffed at his words, thrusting his phone back into his hands, feeling far too much the finality of their parting, and hating that while he had her number now, she didn't have his. The ball was in his court, the power firmly in his hands.

But a little hope bloomed in her when she felt his fingers under her chin, his eyes searching hers. His words were strong and firm when he spoke.

"I will."

She nodded, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You'd better hurry."

He turned his head and caught her lips one last time, a lopsided smile on his face when he pulled away and turned from her, showing his ticket to the agent without a look back.

And Usagi stood, unmoving, long after he was out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Here's the next installment to my little story, and it only took me 3 months this time. I'm on a roll! (not really but you take the victories where you can find them)_

 _A huge, HUGE thanks to my forever beta FloraOne for her continued enthusiasm for this birthday fic of hers that's been on going for 9 months now. My goal is to have it finished by her next birthday, and then we can start again xD_

 _Please enjoy, and know that I LOVE your reviews and they keep me going 33333333_

 _oOo_

It was four whole minutes past seven. Maybe if she stared at the phone just a tiny bit harder it would ring.

Usagi glared, focusing all her brain power into willing her phone's screen to light up with his name.

It didn't, and she sighed.

He was usually so punctual, but it was now five after, and still no Mamoru.

She let out another sigh, and resisted the urge to let her head slam against the tiny kitchen table.

"If you sigh one more time, I'll give you something to sigh about," Minako quipped, placing a steaming mug of hot chocolate, topped with piles of whipped cream in front of Usagi.

Usagi smiled at her weakly. "Sorry."

Minako smiled back warmly, reaching out to pat Usagi's hand as she sat down across from her.

"I've never seen you like this. What is it about this guy, hmm?"

It was the question she'd been asking herself for a couple of weeks now. It should have been so easy to walk away from him and not look back. But the thought of never seeing or talking to Mamoru again made her heart clench painfully and her breath run short.

"I...I don't know. There's just... _something_ about him."

"Well, his abs certainly don't hurt."

"Mina!" Usagi cried in mock indignation, before she giggled and nodded. "But no, they really, really don't."

"Why the long face, then? You're clearly head over heels to be sitting here glaring at your phone like that."

Usagi absolutely _was_ head over heels. She couldn't deny it. She'd liked guys before, had been in love a hundred times probably, but Mamoru was another matter entirely.

She thought about him constantly. Wondering what he was doing at that moment, if he was sleeping well, going out with friends. She thought about the way his hair had brushed into his eyes, and how the right side of his mouth quirked up when he seemed to find her particularly amusing.

And then there were the near overwhelming thoughts of how his rich laugh resonated through her, and the way his face had looked when he was on that delicious plateau of ecstasy…

"You're thinking about sex with him again, aren't you?" Minako asked with a sly grin, and her eyebrow quirked suggestively.

Apparently, she'd been quiet for just a titch too long.

" _Ugghhh, Mina!_ " she cried, finally allowing her head to fall to the table into her folded arms. "I'm absolutely hopeless."

Minako laughed gleefully. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this to happen to you."

Usagi lifted her head in confusion. "What? Fall in love with a stranger who's way out of my league and who I'm not sure even _likes_ me all that much?"

It was Minako's turn to look confused. "You're kidding, right?"

"About what part?"

"That you don't even know if he likes you? Seriously, Usagi, you can't be that dense," Minako replied, lifting her cup to her lips for a long sip of tea.

"I don't!" Usagi said, sitting up and folding her arms defensively in front of her. "He's never said anything of the sort."

Minako rolled her eyes and began ticking things off on her fingers. "He accepted your invitation to come up to your apartment after only knowing you for a few hours. He slept with you. Made you breakfast in his underwear. Invited you out for the day despite being so obviously mortified by my showing up. Slept with you _again._ Calls you consistently every other day. Texts you as constantly as one might expect a socially stunted person to, and you already have sickeningly adorable nicknames for each other."

She paused to look at Usagi. "I'm running out of fingers here, do I need to keep going?"

Usagi remained quiet while she took in her friend's words. It was a rather long list of damning evidence, but she still wasn't convinced. Mamoru was obviously just a really nice guy, and even if he did like her, that didn't mean he wanted this to go anywhere, and as much as she wanted to be like Minako sometimes, Usagi just wasn't someone who could be in a casual relationship.

She needed love and commitment and dates and romance and post sex cuddles and…

The shrill ring of her phone sent her jumping from her chair, and her heart beat even more wildly when she read Mamoru's name on her screen.

Grabbing her phone, she ran from the kitchen, calling an apology and a thanks to Minako before slamming her bedroom door shut, and hitting the answer button on the screen.

"Mamo-chan," she breathed into the phone, cringing immediately at how wistful and lonely and wanting she sounded.

"Hi, Odango Atama." His warm voice never failed to send a pleasant tingling to her extremities.

"Must you always call me that?" she asked, but there was no malice in her tone while her lips curled up in a bright smile.

"Yes," came his matter of fact reply. "I'm so sorry I'm late, I had a last minute emergency and then the trains were running late."

"Is everything ok?" she rushed out worriedly. "What kind of emergency was it?"

"I'm fine," he assured, and the smile returned to her face. "It was just a patient that had a bad reaction to some medication. An easy fix."

"Oh," she replied lamely. "Well, that's good at least."

There was a long pause where neither of them spoke.

" _Soooo,_ " he drawled eventually. "Did you hear back from that client you were hoping to get hired by?"

Usagi breathed a sigh of relief at the question, and proceeded to tell him that yes, she had gotten hired, and Artemis did the funniest thing yesterday, and she'd had so much fun at karaoke the other night.

Before she knew it, she'd been talking for ten minutes straight.

"God, Mamo-chan, why didn't you stop me!" she chastised when she realized what she'd done. "I've just been going on and on about myself."

She heard him chuckle through the line, and she blushed.

"Usako, I like hearing about your life," he said, and she could tell it was completely genuine.

"Well, I've talked enough! Tell me about your day!" she said, sitting up and crossing her legs so she wasn't too comfortable and could give him the attention he deserved.

"I was actually going to see if you were busy this weekend?" he said, and she could hear the hesitance in his voice now.

"This weekend? Why?"

"I have another conference in town, and I was hoping...maybe you might have time for dinner or something?"

"Oh," was all she could manage to get out, her heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and fear and something else altogether she couldn't quite name.

"I completely understand if you don't," he went on, and she was disappointed when he didn't even sound phased by the thought she might not have time for him.

Emotions raged in her. He wanted to see her, so that was good, right? But it wasn't like he was making a special trip or anything, just happened to be in town. Not so great admittedly, but it was better than nothing, and her need to see him overwhelmed everything else.

"I'll only be there for a day, and it's last minute, and it's not like I have a demand on your time at all, I just thought-"

"Dinner sounds great," she said quietly.

 _oOo_

Usagi waited impatiently outside Ebisu station, eyes scanning the crowd for the tall, slender, incredibly hot man she was looking for.

She checked her watch. 6:30 pm on the dot, and still no sign of Mamoru.

She'd even managed to get there early! After Minako had pushed her out the door, apparently tired of Usagi changing outfits ten times and fussing over the same piece of her hair for half an hour.

Mamoru had said he'd made reservations for them for 7 at a little Italian place he'd loved for years, and her emotions were rapidly moving between excitement and abject terror at the prospect of seeing him again.

He made her feel so, _so_ much, which wasn't altogether strange for her, but the intensity of the feelings that threatened to burst from her even at just the sound of his voice, from five hundred plus kilometers away no less, made her wonder if she was going a little crazy.

But there was nothing in the world that could make her want to give this up. Not matter how insignificant she was to Mamoru.

He wasn't insignificant to her. Would never be.

"Mamo-chan!" she cried when she finally caught sight of him, startling a few people closest to her with the sheer volume of her shout. She stood on the tips of her toes, and waved her hand enthusiastically.

Her heart skipped a beat when he saw her, a bright smile on his face, as he leisurely walked towards her through the crowds.

She took off running towards him, her impatience to be close to him taking over, and when she reached him, Usagi launched herself into his arms.

To his credit, Mamoru caught her expertly, his body taking most of the impact, not even appearing off balance in the slightest.

His arms tightened around her, and her feet dangled a few inches from the ground while she nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breathing in the deep scent of roses and pine that lingered on his skin.

Mamoru placed her down gently with an almost goofy smile on his face. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were happy to see me, Usako."

Usagi flushed a deep shade of red, and quickly changed the subject. "We'd better hurry if we're going to make it to dinner on time!" she said, grabbing his hand while pulling him away from the station and down the busy sidewalk.

His deep laugh followed her, and she pulled him all the way to the restaurant, only pausing every few hundred meters to chastise him about hurrying up, the deep red flush still on her face from before.

He even appeared to be slightly out of breath when they finally arrived at their destination. "How are you not even the least bit winded?" he asked, his voice raspy.

Usagi just shrugged. "I'm used to being late, remember?" she said, wagging her finger at him playfully. "You don't get legs like these by just walking." She inwardly applauded herself for that remark, and her ego wasn't hurt in the slightest when he looked down at her legs, eyes growing dark and an appreciative sound came from the back of his throat.

She yanked on his arm again, their hands still clasped from before. "Come on, Mamo-chan, I'm _starving_!"

He came willingly, and when Usagi stepped inside the restaurant, she gasped in delight.

It was an intimate little place named Il Boccalone, with room for maybe fifty people, dim lighting and cute two-seater tables with yellow tablecloths and an open kitchen. It was the sort of place you'd take a date, and her smile fell a bit when her thoughts turned to all the other women he must have brought here to come to love it as much as he claimed to.

"Usako? Is something wrong?" Mamoru's concerned voice reached her ears, when he turned away from speaking with the host. "If you don't like Italian, we can go somewhere else, I just thought-"

"No!" she said too loudly, causing a waiter and the host to look at her strangely. She flushed, but turned to him with what she hoped was an appeasing smile. "It's perfect."

The host led them to their table, and Usagi had to keep from shivering when she felt Mamoru's hand on the small of her back as he walked behind her. How she was going to make it through this dinner without demanding sex right then and there, she'd never know.

She took a few deep, calming breaths while Mamoru ordered them some fancy sounding wine, and her nose filled with the most delicious smells.

"This place is really nice, Mamo-chan," she said between bitefulls of bread, and he smiled at her, eyes twinkling in the most enticing way in the dim light.

He looked around with an almost nostalgic look on his face. "It's been a favorite of mine for a long time."

"Did you bring a lot of dates here or something?" she said, trying to sound like it didn't bother her in the slightest, while her insides flipped and her stomach churned at the thought.

He nearly choked on the sip of wine he was taking, sputtering out, "N-no, not exactly."

Relief she knew she had no right to feel swept through her. "Really? I find that hard to believe," she said, examining the piece of bread she'd pulled off.

Daring a glance up at him, she noticed his tell-tale smirk had returned.

"Do you think I spend _all_ my free time dating dozens of women, Odango?"

Usagi could feel her face and ears burning. "Well, if you didn't bring dates here, why do you love it so much?"

Mamoru smiled her in a way that clearly stated he found her adorable, in that kid sister kind of way that made her want to run and hide underneath her bunny comforter with her favorite stuffed animal until she died.

But her heart nearly stopped when he reached across the table, and threaded her fingers through his.

"Motoki's aunt actually owns this place. She gave me a job in college, and let me have a table to study here pretty much whenever I wanted, and fed me," he said quietly. "She...kind of adopted me, I guess you could say."

Adopted him? Usagi's brow crinkled, trying to understand. "Did you need to be adopted?"

He swirled his wine around in the glass nonchalantly. "In a manner of speaking, I suppose."

"But why?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Mamoru smiled at her, but Usagi could clearly see the warning behind it. "A story for another time, perhaps."

She would have pulled her hand back from his grasp, but he held her hand steadfastly, and she was now more unsure than ever.

They were thankfully interrupted then by the waiter, a sweet looking girl who's eyes went wide every time Mamoru even so much as glanced at her, and Usagi was torn between complete jealousy and total understanding. She had looked at him much the same way the first time she'd seen him, after all.

And once the girl had reluctantly left to put their order in with the kitchen, Usagi did her best to return them to normal conversation.

"So, what was your conference about this time?" she asked, taking a much too big sip of her wine.

She was surprised by the almost frightened look on his face.

"Uh...well, it was about, the uh...most recent discoveries in treatments for bladder cancer," his voice trailed off and he cleared his throat.

"Bladder cancer?" Usagi asked, again much too loudly, when for the third time in less than an hour people's heads turned towards her and annoyed looks were sent her way. "What does that have to do with the brain?"

Mamoru's mouth opened and shut quickly again, and he licked his lips. He appeared to be stalling for time, though she had no idea why.

"Everything has to do with the brain," he finally responded, with a nod of his head as if he'd just explained the universe to her.

Usagi briefly weighed whether or not she wanted to press further, before quickly deciding she didn't care enough about the bladder, cancer or the brain to keep going.

"Whatever you say, _Dr. Chiba_ ," she said emphasizing his name in a way that made him roll his eyes, and she kept going with a shrug and a, "you're the expert."

The waitress came back with their plates not long after that, and Usagi threw a thinly veiled glare in her direction when she lingered a bit too long to make sure everything was 'alright.'

"I know the cancer thing doesn't make a ton of sense, but we have to do a bunch of continuing education," he continued on with the conversation looking to his left nervously.

"Was it at least interesting?" Usagi asked, leaning forward to breathe in the heavenly smell of her food.

He smiled, and winked at her. "Honestly, I couldn't wait to get out of there."

Usagi felt warmth shoot straight through her limbs, and she busied herself with twirling a huge mouthful of pasta onto her fork.

Oh, he was a flirt, but she was _eating it up_.

"That wouldn't have anything to do with me would it?" she asked brazenly, biting her lip in what she hoped was a seductive way.

"Mmm, Odango Atama, what on earth would make you think that?" he replied, delicately cutting his meat with utensils placed perfectly in his long fingers.

She sighed wistfully, trying to ignore the ever growing ache she had to be touched by him, taking another giant bite of food. "Just wishful thinking I suppose."

His dark bangs were falling into his eyes in the most enticing way, and Usagi had to bite back the urge to reach across the table and feel the silky strands against her skin.

"Well, I most definitely wasn't thinking about you the entire time," he said, that wonderfully sexy and obviously annoying smirk was back.

"No?" Usagi asked, trying to look sophisticated as she sipped her wine. "That's a real shame."

"It is?" he responded, leaning his head on his palm, elbow on the table. His eyes were dark with mischief.

She smiled widely, and nodded her head. "Yes, it is, because I was thinking about you."

Mamoru swallowed hard, the smirk only barely hanging on. "What about me?" His voice was breathless, the remainder of his food forgotten.

Usagi pushed her plate to the side, having finished the last of her pasta in about two minutes flat. She leaned forward placing her chin in her hands, her smile now sweet as honey.

"Oh everything, _Mamoru_ ," she drawled his name out, loving the way it felt like a caress in her mouth. "That not at all attractive smirk of yours. Your obnoxiously hard and muscled chest. Your boring black hair. Those overly dull blue eyes."

He leaned back in his chair, the right side of his mouth quirked up as he rested one leg on the other knee, suit jacket open, tie loosened, arm draped casually across the chairback. He was the picture of everything good about masculinity and it was beautiful.

His face seemed to scream at her, _challenge accepted._

"That is a shame, Usako," he said and her breath caught at the name like it did every other time it left his lips. "Because there's no way I was thinking about your ridiculously long, stringy hair, or how obnoxiously loud you are, or your insane tendency to abuse arcade machines."

Usagi couldn't help but giggle. "That happened once!"

"That I know of," he countered, and she had to concede that point to him. "But you know what I wasn't thinking about the most?"

It was her voice's turn to sound breathy. "W-what?"

His eyes dropped down to her lips, and he reached across the table his thumb brushing some wayward sauce from the corner of her mouth, before gently tracing the lines of her lips. "I never, not once, thought about kissing that pouty, perfect mouth of yours."

Then his fingers were gone, and he was back to sitting across from her, so relaxed as if nothing in the world could bother him.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Usagi blurted out without thinking, and immediately cringed at how desperate she must have sounded.

Mamoru grinned back. "My hotel is closer."

 _oOo_

Usagi sighed, finally lifting herself from her all too comfy spot on Mamoru's chest. She stood up, and began rifling around for her clothes that were strewn across the hotel room.

"What are you doing?" Mamoru asked, sitting up with what looked like alarm on his face, while Usagi picked up her bra from its place on a lampshade.

She paused in her movements, arms full of clothes, and she shrugged sheepishly. "I just figured it was time for me to go?"

His face fell, and she swore her heart was about to break. "Why? Did I do something wrong? Did you-"

"No! I just thought you might not want me to stay-"

"Usako," he interrupted her, throwing back the sheet that covered his lower half, and she had to lean her head back when he reached her, his height towering over her tiny frame.

She blushed deeply at the sight of him, and he gently took the clothes from her hands, placing them on the desk chair nearby.

She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed when he took her face into his hands, slightly cursing herself for allowing his affect on her to be so blatantly obvious.

But the intensity of his gaze wiped the thought from her head, and she felt like she was drowning.

"I want you to stay," he said, voice soft. "Do...do you want to?"

Usagi nodded vigorously, her heart now fully in charge of her brain, and she squealed when he reached down to pick her up, tumbling them both back onto the bed.

 _oOo_

Usagi was beginning to form a love/hate relationship with train stations.

On the one hand, they brought Mamoru to her. On the other, they took him away again.

They stood outside the turnstiles, and she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes while her nervous heart hammered away in her chest.

She felt his fingers lift her chin. "Usako, don't be sad," he said with a small smile. "I'll see you soon, I promise."

She cleared her throat, and took in a deep breath, finally finding the courage to say what she'd been planning in her head since the night before. "Mamo-chan, I was thinking of visiting Makoto soon to see if she needed any help, and I was wondering if-"

His lips on hers were earnest and demanding, despite the awkward way she had to maneuver herself to avoid his bags, Usagi returned his kiss with just as much fervor as he was giving her.

She knew they were causing a scene. Knew full well that this kiss solved nothing. Not the distance, not the insecurity, not the sad ache in her heart that never really seemed to fade unless he was right there with her, but she kissed him back all the same, unable to deny him anything.

And when he finally eased back from her, his forehead pressed against hers, his smile was enough to sustain her until she could see him again. "I would love to see you, Usa."

She forced the smile to stay on her face when the announcement for his train arrival rang through the station.

"I'll see you soon," he said with a quick kiss to her forehead. "Bye, Usako."

"Bye, Mamo-chan," she managed to answer, and she watched him show his ticket and move through to places she wasn't allowed.

Watching his retreating form, she only broke her gaze when her phone dinged in her pocket. She scrambled to pull it out, and a genuine grin broke out on her face when she read his message on her screen.

 _Don't be sad._

She looked up to see him smiling back at her with a quick wave, before he turned around and disappeared from view.


	6. Chapter 6

_a_ _n: *waves sheepishly from behind my own shame at how long it took me to write this* Hiii. I hope you're still with me. I know it's been a hell of a wait for pretty much every chapter of this, BUT I have a goal to finish it by mid-March when I head to Japan for a couple of weeks, so hopefully the ball will keep rolling._

 _My forever tha_ _nks to my beta, FloraOne for her unwavering support and enthusiasm even when I am the worst at getting anything done. You are absolutely the reason I manage to keep going with this at all, and I love you. Thank you for everything._

 _Please let me know what you thought! I've really come to love this story, and I hope you enjoy it too!_

 _oOo_

It was amazing how time seemed to slip away from Usagi when her measure of time changed to revolve around visits with Mamoru.

Before she knew it, October had become Christmas, and the New Year had passed just a few weeks before.

They had consistently seen each other at least every other weekend, sometimes more if Usagi could manage to escape to Osaka for a week that spanned two weekends.

She had loved every minute of it, too.

Nighttime visits to Dotonbori where Mamoru treated her to every single food that made her eyes light up. Ferris wheel rides and takoyaki at Odaiba. A double date with Motoki and Reika where they were mercilessly teased about the lengths they had gone to to meet each other, when all they'd really had to do was ask Motoki (Usagi had blushed profusely at this, and Mamoru rolled his eyes behind his coffee cup).

She'd even been invited to his apartment, where she'd spent several nights enjoying his giant, fluffy bed and rock hard chest and abs, as well as getting to finally meet his adorable cat Luna, who had taken an almost spooky liking to Usagi, following her around constantly and generally refusing to leave her alone unless Mamoru locked her out of the bedroom.

He'd been to Tokyo a number of times as well for a few more conferences and helping with Motoki and Reika's wedding planning, squeezing in time to see her between meetings, and always managing to end up at her apartment at night, or she at his hotel.

And as blissful as it was, there was always a nagging voice in the back of her mind that insisted on reminding her that while she purposefully made time to go see him, he only ever made the time when there was something else going on.

Not once had he decided on his own to make his way to Tokyo, and it stung if she stopped to think about it.

Mamoru was wonderful in every possible way. He was attentive and tender and kind and sweet and unendingly patient, but he'd never once even attempted to broach the subject of what exactly they were.

He'd never asked her to be his girlfriend. Never once referred to her as such when they occasionally ran into his colleagues while they were out in Osaka, and as self-assured as Usagi was, his seeming lack of commitment ate at her.

And as she stared out the window of the shinkansen, once again on her way to Osaka, this time to go with him to a fancy evening at the symphony with his boss and her husband, the unbalanced nature of their 'relationship' had never been more clear.

She sighed deeply, tried her best to focus on the adorable child in the seat in front of her that kept peeking back at her, while the countryside zoomed by.

 _oOo_

She did her best to muster a bright smile when Mamoru answered the door to his apartment.

He looked good enough to eat standing there in his black tux, bowtie hanging around his neck yet to be tied, his hair slicked back in the most enticing way.

If only the thought of food didn't make her stomach churn violently.

The smile he gave her put a momentary stop to the spinning of her vision.

"Usako," he said breathily, immediately reaching out to pull her to him, and Usagi weakly wrapped her arms around him, grateful for the chance to close her eyes against his chest for a moment.

"Hi, Mamo-chan," she whispered, trying her best to sound normal. She couldn't ruin this date. Not when he'd been so looking forward to it. No matter how high her fever or how the world seemed to currently reside on the ceiling.

He rested his chin on the top of her head, pulling her inside without loosening his grip, and closing the door with a check of his hip. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Usagi felt her already flushed cheeks grow even more pink, and she managed a small, "Thank you," in response.

She supposed she did look pretty good, all things considered. She matched him perfectly in an all black, knee length dress with a velvet boat neck bodice that flared into a full satin skirt at her waist. It was the cutest thing she could come up with after several unsuccessful Google searches for 'what to wear to the symphony.'

Mamoru pulled back from her gently, and held her at arm's length, his giant hands cupping her shoulders. There was a cheeky grin on his face, when he spoke. "Did you miss me?"

Usagi shrugged her shoulders, thankful her lips managed to mirror his. "Not in the slightest."

His answering laugh was deep and warm. "I figured as much," he said, letting go of her and taking her coat from her shoulders.

The sudden loss of stability caused her to stumble into the nearby couch with an unceremonious 'ooof!' She tried her best to cover by plopping down on the arm of the sofa and smiling sheepishly at him.

"Are you ok?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he stepped closer to her again. He looked down to her feet and noticed the two inch heels she had on for the first time. "Those things are not good for your feet, you know."

She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, bending down to remove her shoes now that she was stable. "Whatever, _Dr. Chiba_ ," she said with as much disdain as she could manage. It was one of her most favorite things to say these days. "They're cute, I like them, the end."

Mamoru chuckled at her, taking her shoes from her and placing them in the genkan, before stepping closer to tuck a wayward curl behind her ear.

His face grew concerned the second his skin touched hers, and Usagi winced, immediately realizing her mistake.

They spoke at the same time.

"Usa, you're burning up!"

"I'm not sick!"

He shot her a look, and she had the decency to look guilty. "Seriously, Mamo-chan, I'm fine!"

"I'm calling Dr. Ito and canceling," he said dropping his hands from her face, and reaching them into his pocket to hunt for his phone.

"No!" she protested so loudly it caused her head to spin, and she had to reach out and grab Mamoru's arm to steady herself. "Don't you dare do that."

"Usako, you can't even stand without falling over," he said. "Though that's not much different from normal now that I think about it."

She couldn't even come up with the energy to glare at him, and instead let her head fall, her long streamers of hair almost reaching the floor, and she jumped a bit when a long, strong arm snaked back around her waist.

"No comeback?" she heard him say, as one finger lifted her chin. "Usako, honestly how bad do you feel?"

Usagi bit her lip, as tears started to pool in her eyes. She tried to look away, but his face was so close it filled the entirety of her vision.

She took in a deep breath and met his eyes. "I don't want to ruin this for you. I'm fine, I promise."

Mamoru sighed. "I'll tell you what, let me take your temperature. If you don't have more than a degree of fever, we can still go." Her whole demeanor perked up at this, and she could see the almost chastising look he gave her in response. "But if you do, we're not going anywhere, and you're going straight to bed."

She nodded her head vigorously, and bit back a smile when Mamoru steered her into a sitting position on the arm of the couch.

"I'll be right back," he said, leaning down to place a kiss to her forehead, before his long and graceful legs carried him down the hallway.

Her mind raced as she watched him go, knowing full well her fever was very much present and probably more than a degree. She spotted the fridge out of the corner of her eye, and rushed to it on shaky legs.

Cold, she needed something cold that would trick the thermometer into thinking she was completely well. She opened the freezer when it hit her.

Ice! Ice was cold. Freezing even. Hence its place in the freezer. God bless ice.

Usagi reached in, plucked out a small cube and place it in her mouth, vigorously sucking and fighting back the urge to spit out the ridiculously cold thing while her mouth burned in protest.

She heard Mamoru's footsteps approaching, and she stumbled back to the couch managing to sit down right as he looked up from the contents of his hands.

Usagi smiled at him brightly, putting on her best 'I'm totally innocent of all things' eyes, ice still laying under her tongue behind her front teeth growing smaller thankfully from the heat of her mouth.

He quirked an eyebrow and stopped dead in his tracks, eyeing her suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

"Nuhink."

He walked closer, a look of amusement in his eyes. "Did you just run to the kitchen and put a piece of ice in your mouth?"

She tried to swallow as discreetly as possible, but the size of the ice cube caused her to gulp as it went down.

"No," she squeaked out, smiling again, hoping he wouldn't be _too_ angry with her. This was all for him after all.

Mamoru rolled his eyes. "You're completely ridiculous, do you know that?"

She blushed and shrugged, unable to meet his eyes because he was absolutely right. She was completely ridiculous. Crazy, disaster, sick monster that she was. There was no reason for him to be with her.

And she was just waiting for him to kick her out. To finally realize what she'd known all along, when she felt his palm lift up her chin.

He was smiling and his eyes were kind as he lifted a contraption to her forehead. She flinched, and he held it back for her to see.

"It's a thermometer, Odango Atama. Nothing to be afraid of," he said, and when the concern didn't leave her face, he explained further. "It takes your temperature from your forehead."

 _Shit_. Why couldn't he have been a normal person with normal drugstore things?! There was no ice on her forehead!

She sucked in a breath as she felt the tiny ball roll from temple to temple, and held it as he drew back to look at the numbers flashing on the tiny screen.

Another roll of his eyes told her she had lost this fight. "Really? 39? Usako, you shouldn't even be out of bed with that! What were you thinking?!"

Usagi couldn't recall a time she'd ever felt so small. "Mamo-chan, I just didn't want to ruin this night for you," she told him again, and his face softened.

She kept talking, hoping against all hope she could still weasel her way out of him being upset with her. "You've been talking about it for weeks, and your boss invited you, and I got this dress, and it looks really good, and-"

Mamoru's hands came up to cup her face, cutting her off. "Usako, we made a deal. You're going to bed."

She let out a sigh of defeat, her shoulders slumping as she rose from the couch, shaking off his hands and making her way back towards the genkan, not even bothering to look at him.

He was right after all. She needed to get back to Makotos, fall into bed and die for the next few days. No use in dragging it out.

"What are you doing?" she heard from behind her as she fumbled around to put her right heel on, while shrugging her jacket further up her shoulders.

Usagi looked at him in confusion. "You said I had to go straight to bed, so I was, going back to Mako's place…" she trailed off as he came closer, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on his face, and something akin to...hurt? But she couldn't possibly fathom why that would be.

He cupped her cheek, and shook his head. "You honestly think I'm going to send you out there to become the next Typhoid Mary? What kind of doctor do you think I am?"

Her brain was much too frazzled to process his words. "Ty who?"

"I meant go to bed...here. Where there's someone who can take care of you," he said, his face seemed impossibly soft but unsure, as he gently peeled back her coat, his fingers brushing the exposed skin of her upper arms.

"Oh," was all she could manage to say, and he laughed at her softly.

She wondered if he could tell how impossibly weary she was, when she couldn't even manage a protest when he picked her up, his giant hands holding her under her knees and back. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and laid her head on his shoulder, eyes closing against the spinning of the world for the short walk to his bedroom.

Mamoru deposited her on the bed, and she kept her eyes closed until she felt his forehead touch hers.

"Can I help you take your dress off?" he asked quietly, and her insides melted at his sweetness. She nodded mutely, and felt his hands grip her arms to help her stand.

She leaned against him fully when she felt his hands reach behind her and the zipper gingerly start to go down. He then moved her back from his chest, while he slipped the dress off her shoulders and down her front until it pooled in a heap at her feet.

It wasn't lost on her, even in her fevered state, that she was completely vulnerable in that moment. Sick and exhausted to the point where she couldn't even find the strength to undress herself without help.

But this man she trusted beyond anyone else. And the thought made her smile in spite of everything.

"What are you smiling about, Usa?" he asked softly, once he'd finished pulling a giant, soft t-shirt over her head.

"You," she answered, when he guided her back against the softest pillows she'd ever felt.

She heard a chuckle from deep in his chest. "Now, I'm sure your delusional," he said, bending down to kiss her forehead, as he maneuvered her to sit on his giant, comfy bed. "I'll be right back."

Settling back against the pillows, Usagi let her eyes droop closed, exhaustion finally catching up to her. She could hear the muffled sounds of Mamoru's voice out in the hallway, and didn't even flinch when Luna hopped onto the bed next to her, nudging Usagi with her head for attention.

She reached out, and let her fingers run through the soft fur of Mamoru's cat. It was nice to have someone there, even if it was just a cat. And while she'd never admit it out loud, Usagi was beyond thrilled and relieved that their respective cats had taken to the other person so quickly, especially considering Minako's long standing rule of, 'if Artemis thinks he's shit, he's obviously shit.'

Her eyes popped back open when she heard Mamoru's soft footfall enter the room.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, causing Luna to scurry away, and smiled at her softly. With one hand, he held what appeared to be a damp cloth, and in the other he balanced a glass of water and some medicine.

Usagi's eyes followed his hand as he placed the glass and pills down on the nightstand, and she was surprised when his large hand reached out and threaded through her bangs.

"Are you doing ok?" he asked quietly, sweetly, while placing the cold compress to her forehead, and handing her water and pills.

Unbidden tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she bit her lip to try to keep them away. She failed, naturally, as she always did to keep the wetness from streaking down her cheeks, but she felt terrible and he was being so kind and loving, she could almost pretend they were a real couple.

She managed to swallow the pills he'd brought before her weakened state didn't allow for her to hold it in any longer.

"Oh, Usako," he said, his voice and face full of concern. He moved closer to her, scooting her over so he could stretch out beside her and pull her to his chest.

She curled into him, tears now paving numerous tracks down her cheeks and onto his pristine, white dress shirt. It was just too much, with the fever and nausea and being so far away from home and him taking care of her like she belonged there...it was enough to make her cry even under the best of circumstances.

And if it bothered him that she was a blubbering mess, he didn't show it. Just stroked her back, and kissed the crown of her head, and held her while she cried.

And after awhile, her cries did fade into only the occasional rogue tear slipping down, and she reached out to catch them with her tongue.

She could feel him holding back a laugh at her antics, and it made her smile though her head was still pounding. Looking up at him, and taking note of his makeup stained shirt, untied bow tie still around his neck and stunning slicked back hair, she suddenly remembered she'd ruined his night in more ways than one.

He must have noticed her face falling because he pulled back from her in order to see her fully. "What's wrong? Do you feel like you need to throw up?"

Usagi shook her head. "Was your boss terribly upset with you?"

The right side of his mouth lifted a bit. "Not at all. She said she completely understood and hoped you felt better, and she offered for us all to go next month instead."

A frown was still firmly planted on her face. "But they won't be playing your favorite piece then."

She was greeted with a real smile this time. "It'll come around again, eventually. Symphonies recycle programs all the time. And besides, there's this amazing invention called the Internet, where I can listen to pretty much anything, any time I want."

Usagi glared at him for a moment before the pinching in her forehead became too much. She collapsed back onto his chest with a half-hearted, "You're such an ass, Mamo-chan."

Mamoru laughed outright, as he usually did when she called him names. "And yet, despite that, you keep coming back."

She managed enough strength to swat his chest.

They sat in silence for a few long moments, Usagi's eyelids starting to grow heavy again, when a question she'd tried to ask him many times came into her mind once again.

"Mamo-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you become a doctor?" she asked, and she felt him sigh deeply against her.

"You're not going to let that drop are you?" he said, his voice not sounding the least bit annoyed, just...sad.

She shook her head. "You're so good at taking care of people."

"Well, there you go. That's the reason."

"It is not, and you know it," she quipped back, closing her eyes as the room started to spin again.

She knew she needed to sleep, but this was important, and she was nosy, and if he would just let her in, maybe, _maybe_ it might mean something…

"Usako, I-"

Sensing he was trying to get out of the situation, she cut him off. "Mamo-chan, you've been avoiding this for forever. I'm here now, I'm practically dying in your bed," he scoffed at that, "and I'm not going to get off of you until you tell me why."

He sighed again, but it sounded different this time. Resigned. Defeated even.

It took him a few moments, so Usagi laid perfectly still except for her thumb stroking his upper arm in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. She had no idea why this was so hard for him, but she suspected whatever it was he was about to say had been closely guarded from a majority of people he ever came across.

"When I was six," he started, and Usagi wasn't sure she'd ever heard his voice sound so timid. "Actually it was the day I turned six, my parents and I were in an accident."

Usagi pushed back from him, sitting up as much as she could with what little energy she had. His words had her head spinning, but this time it had nothing to due with her illness. "An accident?" she needlessly repeated.

"I was in the backseat, and it was raining and dark and apparently, my father lost control of the car and we went over a guardrail," he continued, studiously avoiding her eyes. "They didn't survive, and neither did any memory I had of them."

She could barely breathe at his confession. An overwhelming feeling of loss crushing into her chest like a boulder had fallen on her.

This man, this sweet, kind, beautiful man had grown up without parents? Had lost his entire world at the age of _six_?

"I didn't have any close relatives to take me in, so I was shuffled through the system until I was old enough to live on my own. My father owned a large technology company, so there was plenty of money from that for me to live comfortably for my entire life if I'd wanted," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I spent a lot of time, searching for something, anything that would give me a past or some sense of who I was. But nothing ever worked. The harder I tried, the less I seemed to succeed. And so, I decided to focus on others. Maybe if I could help someone else avoid what I'd been through, I could find some purpose there."

"Oh, my god," she finally whispered. "Mamo-chan, I'm so sorry."

He finally looked at her, and she was surprised to see him wince, his whole body tensing against hers, and he tried to move away. "This is why I don't tell anyone," he said. "The pity, Usako, I...I just can't."

Usagi shook her head, burying her face back against his chest, breathing in his scent, before he had a chance to run. "No, Mamo-chan, I don't pity you," she said, taking one of his hands into both of hers, and bringing it to her chest, while her eyes watered with fresh tears. "You don't need pity. I just can't imagine how brave and strong you must have been to survive all that. I'm so sorry you had to go through it alone."

To her surprise, he smiled weakly, and hugged her to him. "Well, I'm not alone now, am I?"

She almost forgot how to breathe. _No, you're not, and I'll make sure you never are again,_ is what she should have said, but she only managed a quiet, "no," while her eyes closed wearily.

"Get some sleep, Usa," she heard him say from up above her somewhere.

"Will you stay with me?" she murmured, unaware of the fact that he hadn't moved in the slightest, and that she was still pressed firmly against him.

"Of course, I will."

One last thought fluttered through her mind before sleep claimed her for nearly ten hours.

 _Let me be your family, Mamo-chan._

 _oOo_

She woke blearily the next morning when something extremely rude gently shook her awake.

" _Go awaaaay,"_ she whined, but stilled when she heard a warm laugh.

"Usako, you need to wake up and take some medicine," she heard Mamoru say next to her on the bed she was currently sprawled across. "I honestly shouldn't have let you go this long without taking any, so come on."

Usagi let out an irritated huff, but slowly sat up, and was pleasantly surprised to find her head didn't throb so much anymore, and her throat only stung a little when she swallowed the pills Mamoru gave her.

She looked him over while she greedily gulped down water, and found he was still in his clothes from the night before, though they looked quite wrinkled. A blush graced her cheeks as the realization hit that he must have really stayed with her the entire night.

Mamoru rolled the same traitorous thermometer across her forehead, and Usagi waited for him to speak as he examined the numbers on the tiny screen.

"No more fever. That's a good sign," he said, reaching out to run a hand through her bangs. He smiled at her in that boyish way that made her heart stop.

"You needed a medical degree to tell me that?" she quipped, returning his smile, and was delighted when she was met with one of his dramatic eye rolls.

"I do have to get to work soon," he said, eyes darting to the clock above her head.

Usagi felt her entire body deflate. Of course. Reality. It was such a petty bitch.

"You're more than welcome to-"

"I'll head back to Mako's-"

They both looked away awkwardly, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock Mamoru kept anxiously looking at.

He was the first to speak, but still avoided her eyes. "If you'd be more comfortable there."

She smiled weakly in response, wishing she had the courage to tell him that no, she wouldn't be more comfortable there, she wanted to stay right where she was, lounging in his sheets with his scent on the pillow.

But of course, coward that she was, she only nodded, and threw the covers off, gathering up her dress that was still on the floor next to the bed to change back into from the night before.

She practically ran to the bathroom, trying to get some space to breathe, and making the mistake of looking at her reflection in the mirror.

Her hair was a mess. Face puffy. Eyeliner smudged all around her eyes. She turned the water on in the sink full blast and let out a groan at how ridiculously pathetic she looked.

She splashed water on her face, redid her hair and struggled to get her dress zipper up on her own, having to hop around and place her arms in all sorts of strange positions in order to grab it. She did really miss Makoto now that she was stuck trying to dress herself.

When she finally decided she was brave enough to leave the bathroom, Mamoru was waiting for her by the door with her coat and a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She padded over to him, and he helped her into her coat before she bent down to place her feet into her heels.

"Keep taking medicine every few hours for a couple more days just to make sure," he told her when she stood back up. Her eyes almost reached his chin with the added height from her shoes.

Usagi nodded, and smiled, reaching up to brush a rogue strand of hair out of his eyes. Her mind repeating the same mantra it always did when she looked at him, _he's so beautiful_.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Mamo-chan," she whispered, and his face softened under her touch.

"Anytime," he replied, eyes locking on to hers.

She shrugged sheepishly, letting her hand drop from his face. "I would kiss you, but I-"

His mouth was on hers before she could finish, and she melted against him. His hands held her cheeks while he repeatedly touched his lips to hers, long and slow.

When they finally broke apart, he hovered close to her, their lips still only a few centimeters apart.

"That was really stupid, Mamo-chan," she said, eyes not able to move away from looking at his mouth.

"I never claimed to be very smart," he said, his telltale smirk grinning back at her before he kissed her again.

An alarm on his watch pulled them away from each other, and he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Usa, I-"

She smiled at him genuinely. "It's fine, Mamo-chan. I'll see you in a couple weeks?"

He nodded and smiled back. "You're coming to the fitting, right?"

It was her turn to nod. She'd somehow been chosen by Reika to help decide on suits for the wedding.

She moved towards the door, turning around once again when her fingers touched the handle. "When you get sick, you better not blame me," she said sternly, brow furrowed.

Mamoru laughed, and bent down towards her one more time, lightly brushing his lips against her forehead. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Usagi couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. "Call me?"

"I know what's good for me," he replied solemnly, and she giggled again.

She opened the door, and waved back at him, managing to smile until the door clicked closed.


	7. Chapter 7

_a_ _n: thank you so much to my beta, floraone for her constant encouragement and complete faith that I have the capacity to finish this story that should have been done a year ago. you've stuck by me through 3 years of my tirades and insecurities._ _I appreciate you more than you know. also thank you to everyone who's stuck with me on this fic. I know it's been a long wait, but I hope it's been worth it._

 _Let me know what you think! I'd love your reviews 333_

 _oOo_

As a general rule, Usagi loved weddings. _Loved_ weddings. What was there not to like, after all?

There was love and food and cake and dancing and drinks and cake.

And considering she was currently at the wedding of two incredibly dear friends, she should have been enjoying herself immensely.

She was trying. Honestly, she was. But as she sat at a table full of Mamoru and Motoki's extremely well put together friends from college, she was starting to wish she was anywhere but in this gorgeously decorated ballroom in Kyoto.

The ceremony itself had been beautiful. Reika had looked stunning of course, and Usagi wasn't sure she'd ever get over the look on Motoki's face when he saw his bride walking towards him. But she'd spent most of the time staring at the man standing at the groom's left.

There really wasn't much more she could ask for in life than Mamoru in a tux. There really, really wasn't. And if she looked at him long enough, she could almost ignore the intense longing that pulled in her chest.

She continued to stare at him now, still at Motoki's left, but at a table in the very center of the room, and as she half-listened to the gorgeous brunette woman sitting next to her shyly talk about her apparent meteoric rise in the Osaka police department, that intense longing threatened to overwhelm her.

It was a favor to the bride and groom that she was sitting at this table. They were all single without dates to speak of (though judging by the way the man named Kobayashi was conversing over Usagi with the police woman, he very much wanted to be something else) and since no one could bring a group together like Usagi, and the fact that she didn't feel like she could refuse Reika anything on her wedding day, there she was.

She was failing pretty miserably at her job, though. Unable to think of a single thing to talk to any of these people about. What was she supposed to talk about, anyway? How's the weather up there in the stratosphere of success that most people will never reach? You mean you don't eat dinner at your parent's house three times a week because you miss it and are too lazy to cook?

Another glance towards the head table left her sighing. She would have loved to have been at this wedding as his girlfriend, hell, she'd even settle for being called his date at this point.

The last time she'd visited him, he'd nursed her back to health in his bed with such a caring warmth she hadn't been able to shake the feeling it gave her even two months later.

But now, she was at the singles table, about as far away from him as she could possibly be. And after that night, she had no idea when she'd see him again, especially considering he had no real reason to visit Tokyo anymore.

To make matters worse, the wedding being held in Kyoto for the convenience of Reika's family had made it impossible for any of her closest friends to attend. Ami was in the middle of her residency, Rei had a festival at the shrine and Minako was off on some modeling assignment in the north.

"I'm sorry, babe," Minako had said when she'd had to decline the invitation, while Usagi pouted on the couch. "But look at it this way, at least you'll have another weekend of Mamoru all to yourself without us being there to embarrass you."

Yeah, right.

And while Makoto was there, she had been hired to cater, and was therefore in the kitchen practically the entire night, leaving Usagi feeling more alone than she had since middle school. Which consequently, was about the age she felt when compared to the people she was sitting with.

All through dinner she'd tried her best to keep her pleasurable moans at the taste of Makoto's cooking to a minimum, trying her best not to embarrass herself, all the while wondering why exactly Mamoru had ever chosen to spend time with her in the first place, when he could have been with people who so clearly were a better match in every way.

She hadn't even paid attention to the fact that a chair next to her had been vacated, too lost in the moving around the few remaining pieces of broccoli on her plate, when she heard a warm and familiar voice at her side.

"How're you holding up?" Mamoru asked, placing a new glass of champagne down in front of her.

She smiled at him. It was an immediate reaction she didn't seem to have any control over. "I'm fine for now, but I won't be if you keep trying to get me to drink alcohol," she said, picking up the glass and forcing herself to only drink a tiny sip, even though she wanted to down the entire thing.

Her insides melted when he smiled back. "What's the matter, Tsukino? Can't hold your liquor?"

Usagi stuck out her tongue playfully, forgetting her surroundings in the playful tone of his voice. "As a matter of fact, no, I can't."

"How is it you know this charming young woman, Mamoru?" Kobayashi asked from beside her, and Usagi whipped her head towards the intrusion, a blush staining her cheeks.

To her relief, Mamoru smiled at the man. "You always were the nosy one, weren't you, Kobayashi?"

"I just like to have my finger on the pulse of my friend's lives is all," Kobayashi countered haughtily, though his face was warm and friendly.

"If you must know, Usagi and I actually met on a train a few months back, and discovered we had some mutual friends in common," Mamoru offered with that nonchalance she envied.

If someone had asked her that question, she probably would have gone on for a half hour about their meeting, completely unable to hide how much she'd loved every minute of it.

To his credit, Kobayashi seemed to accept Mamoru's vague answer without any follow-up questions.

"How's your research on that dementia drug going? I haven't talked with you since the clinical trial started," Mamoru went on, seeming to forget Usagi was there as he continued his conversation with his friend.

She sat still for a few minutes, occasionally taking a small sip of her champagne, trying her hardest to bite back her feelings of inadequacy and resist the urge to run into the kitchens and cry her problems out on Makoto's soft chest.

But as time dragged on, she knew she needed to get away from the table she'd been chained to, from these people who were a constant reminder of everything she would never be.

Placing her drink down on the table she pushed her chair back and stood, throwing a quick smile at Mamoru, and bowing quickly to Kobayashi.

"If you'll excuse me, I think Reika needs my help with something," she made up when the conversation had turned to what they had all been up to since they'd last met. Doctors, researchers, police chiefs...

She needed air. Needed to get away from Mamoru and his fancy college classmates who were all beautiful and accomplished and so far beyond anything she could ever hope to be.

Once she'd stepped out of the ballroom, she took deep breaths, resisting the urge to slide down the wall to the floor.

But her break was short lived.

"Usako?" Mamoru asked worriedly, sliding through the door she'd come through just moments before. "Are you ok?"

In all her jumbled thoughts, the one that screamed louder than any of the others was how good he looked in that tailored tux and bow tie and shiny shoes and perfectly in place hair.

She managed to smile, and mumble a, "yes, I'm fine," and before she could react, Mamoru had her boxed against the wall, his hands on either side of her head.

He leaned his forehead against hers, a dreamy kind of smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "I thought you were trying to leave without me," he said and if she hadn't been watching him all evening, she would have thought he was drunk.

Mamoru wasn't this forward in public, usually. Sure he would hold her hand, let her snuggle into his side with a smile, even kiss her deeply when one of them was leaving on a train, but being caught in such a clearly intimate position just wasn't in his nature.

Had he been downing champagne in the few moments she hadn't been watching him? He didn't smell like alcohol, and his eyes were clear.

Usagi glanced to the side and realized why he felt so comfortable doing this. Because no one was around. No one would know he was with her. Silly, clumsy, average, not very smart Usagi.

Her heart sank.

"Mamo-chan, I-"

He was kissing her before she could finish, and for some reason she let him. Let him pull her close, hands tight on her hips, while his mouth moved lazily over hers in languid kisses that made her knees weak.

At least, like this, she reasoned in her clouded mind, she could drown with him. They were even here on this playing field. She could make him shiver just as violently as he did her when she raked her nails through his pure silk hair, make him whimper just as pathetically when she nipped at his lower lip.

Plus, and this was the overwhelming justification she realized as his tongue swept into her mouth, rendering her helpless to pull away, it felt amazing.

The door next to them creaked open, and reality came crashing down in the worst possible way.

Mamoru jumped away from her, causing her center of gravity to go with him, and she stumbled into his chest.

His hands came out to steady her, and she noticed his cheeks were flaming red, his hair still tousled from her fingers, while he placed her back on her feet an arms length away from him.

Her head whipped towards the door, ready to give whatever poor person had walked through the door a piece of her mind for disturbing them, but she was dismayed to see Unazuki, who was looking at them with a bright, amused smile on her face, and through her haze of embarrassment and shame, Usagi had the grace to blush.

"Uh, Mamoru, Motoki wanted me to find you and let you know it's time for toasts," she said, and her voice was full of poorly disguised mirth.

Mamoru let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair, somehow making it look even more enticing.

"Yeah, thanks, I'll be right there."

Unazuki gave them one last knowing smile, before disappearing back into the noisy ballroom.

Mamoru finally turned to face Usagi, an apologetic look on his face, though he refused to meet her eyes.

"Usa-"

It was her turn to interrupt him.

"Go, I'll find you later."

He gave her a grateful look, before he hurried after Unazuki.

She leaned against the wall for a long moment, closing her eyes and trying to steady her breathing. It failed miserably.

Eyeing the front door, she debated cutting her losses, and hightailing it out of there with what little dignity she had left, but she heard the muffled sound of Mamoru and the maid of honor being announced, and her curiosity got the better of her.

Slipping back into the hall as quietly as she could, she stood against the back wall, not daring to make any movements that might distract Mamoru as she watched him take the microphone in one hand, his other holding what looked to be an untouched glass of scotch, that was so often his drink of choice after a long day.

She knew how nervous he was about this. This wasn't some academic lecture on the brain he could practically do in his sleep. This was personal. He had to talk about messy things like emotions and friendships and relationships.

Usagi couldn't help the small snort that left her at the thought. Hell, she'd been with him for six months and hadn't been able to drag anything out of him about what he thought about their relationship. Or whatever it was.

 _Motoki, you lucky bastard._

"I can't tell you all how many times, I tried to get out of doing this," he said, and she couldn't help but smile a little. At least there was genuine humor in his voice.

"But every so often, you have someone that enters your life you're willing to do any number of things for, including maudlin displays in front of hundreds of people."

Usagi smiled even wider when she saw Motoki and Reika beam towards him from their table, Reika's head gently laid on her new husband's shoulder.

"I first met Motoki when I was ten. And without getting into specifics, he gave me my first taste of what toxic masculinity really was when he punched a rather obnoxious kid in the face for me within five minutes of meeting him."

The crowd laughed, and Motoki had the grace to blush and shrug his shoulders.

"But I knew that day that I was going to have a really difficult time shaking off this sandy-haired kid, even if I wanted to. Before I knew it, he'd become family."

Usagi sighed at this, biting her lip to keep threatening tears from spilling over as the people around her awed at what he was saying. If they only knew just how desperately true his words were.

"And as the women he dated came and went, and there were plenty of them, I started to wonder if he'd ever settle down," he went on, a real smile on his face that took her breath away. "But I'll never forget, the night after his first date with Reika, he came over to my apartment, pounding on my door and proudly declaring he had found 'The One.'

"And not too long after that, I was being dragged along on their dates, being the excellent third wheel that I am, and suddenly, Reika was my family too."

If it had been possible for Usagi to not cry during his speech, that last bit sent her over the edge, both with happiness and a longing she couldn't quite place that seemed to appear more and more often these days.

"Your marriage isn't the beginning of something beautiful, but a culmination of two lives that have been well-lived and loved, and that is something that can never really end. Thank you both for including me in this day, I love both of you. Cheers," he finished, raising his glass along with the rest of the room, and taking a small sip of the caramel colored drink in his hand.

Making her way back to her table while Reika's best friend spoke, Usagi wiped furiously at the corners of her eyes, trying her best to hide her emotions from those at her table.

She steadied her breathing as much as she could, still shaken from the kisses they'd shared in the hallway and his abrupt exit before she could even remotely think of a way to bring up her mounting insecurities.

It wasn't the time for it anyway, she chided herself. This was Motoki and Reika's wedding, not some excuse for her to finally pin Mamoru down into a relationship, no matter how badly she wanted it.

She couldn't help staring at the couple in front of her, dancing their first dance as husband and wife without a care in the world. They were everything a newly married couple should be. Happy and glowing in their own little wedding induced bubble.

And she hated the jealousy that welled up inside her. Hated it with every fiber of her being that looking at her dear friends gave her such treacherous thoughts. As if it was their fault she was stuck in a relationship that wasn't. As if they had made the decision to stay all these months.

And as more and more couples went to the dance floor, even the people at her table abandoning their singledom for a dance or two, her mood continued to darken.

"Ever wanted to hook up with the best man?"

Usagi jumped in her chair, her head hitting something hard in the process and she heard a hiss of pain come from the offending voice.

Whirling around, she found Mamoru clutching his chin that she'd hit with the top of her head, his eyes watering from what she imagined was a pretty stinging pain.

"Oh, my god, Mamo-chan, I'm so sorry!" she said, rising from her chair at the empty table. "You scared me; I didn't know you were there!"

Mamoru waved her off, putting his back against the nearby wall, and taking in a few deep breaths.

"Geez, Odango," he said with a strained smile, when she handed him a hastily made ice pack that consisted of a napkin and some ice from a nearby water pitcher, "remind me to never sneak up on you in a dark alley."

She blushed deeply and glanced around them, grateful most of the guests were preoccupied with the dance floor before she glared at him. "You shouldn't be sneaking up on anyone, ever, Mamoru-baka!"

Mamoru let out a huff of laughter, and Usagi moved closer to him, gingerly taking the ice napkin from his hands and placing it down on the chair she'd vacated.

When she moved back, she stood on the tips of her toes, having ditched her heels a couple of hours before, to take a closer look at the damage she'd done.

She could feel his breath move the hair on her forehead, and she tried to put it out of her mind that being this close to him still did funny things to her insides.

"Well, doctor," she heard him breathe out, "am I going to live?"

A small smile came unbidden to her face, and she was pleased to see that it didn't even look as if the hit he'd taken would leave a bruise.

"With the right care, possibly," she said, lowering herself down to her normal height.

"What a relief," he replied with a wink. "But you know what I'm sure would completely heal me?"

Usagi wasn't sure if she liked the mischievous look on his face or not, no matter how good he looked at the moment. "A swift kick in the head?"

He looked at her with fake exasperation. "As delightful as that sounds, I'm not sure my body can sustain another of your injuries."

She rolled her eyes. "What then?"

Mamoru held out his hand to her, and she took it without thinking, gasping a tiny bit when he pulled her in close. "Dance with me?"

Her eyes grew wide, surprised at his forwardness and she nodded mutely, finding herself being gently led into the middle of the dance floor.

The music had changed to some slow love song she normally would have swooned to, and as his hands settled on her hips and she allowed her head to lay against his starched dress shirt, she had to admit she was swooning.

How could she not? Mamoru was easily the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen, and here he was, dancing with her, sighing dreamily with his chin nestled between the buns on her head. She could almost close her eyes and just forget…

But it wasn't enough. The worry that had nagged at her during the past six months rearing its ugly head. Worry she'd managed to put from her mind because of how blindingly in love she was.

The wedding had caused all of that denial to fly out the window as a real, committed, lasting relationship was shoved in her face in every way possible.

"Mamo-chan?" she asked, looking up at him, her chin still resting on his chest. "Will I still see you now that the wedding is over, and you don't have a reason to come to Tokyo?"

Mamoru smiled down at her, and she felt her burden ease the tiniest bit. "Of course you will," he said, and she smiled back. "You're in Osaka all the time."

Usagi stumbled over her own feet at his words, and she would have fallen completely if he hadn't been holding her so steadily.

Yes, she was in Osaka all the time. For him. Because she loved him. And wanted to be with him. Was he really not willing to return the favor?

She broke eye contact with him, looking down towards the floor to hide the disappointment on her face while he continued to move them slowly back and forth in time to the music she couldn't really hear any more due to the pounding in her ears.

"And besides," he continued, reaching up to take one of her hands, spinning her out and away from him before pulling her back in, even closer than she was before. "It's not like I'm never in Tokyo. I'm sure I'll have conferences every few months."

Sucking in a breath, Usagi forced herself to look up at him, her voice wavering and betraying her in a way that made her want to cry in frustration. "E-every few months?"

He smiled at her again, but it looked a little sad for some reason she couldn't place. "But like I said, you're here all the time, so I'll still see you."

She didn't even have time to process what he'd said, as his eyes lit up in apparent recognition of someone across the room.

Usagi turned her head towards the direction he'd been staring, and she noticed a middle aged woman with soft blonde hair waving enthusiastically in their direction.

His arms dropped from her waist and he was tugging on her hand, a bright smile on his face while he explained, "There's someone I want you to meet."

She tried to calm her spinning mind while he gently led her towards the smiling woman, but the roar in her ears wouldn't stop and she wasn't sure she had any control over her facial expressions any longer.

Feeling like your life was falling apart around you wasn't exactly conducive to making conversation, no matter how skilled she was at talking.

But here she was, watching Mamoru hug a woman he wanted her to meet, and she was only vaguely able to register his voice as he introduced her.

"Furuhata-san, this is my friend, Usagi Tsukino," he said, hand warm and ever present on her back. "Usagi, this is Motoki's aunt, Mei Furuhata. She's the one I told you about that owns Il Boccalone."

It was an almost out of body experience. As if she had left her body, her feelings and emotions behind in order to not feel the sting of his words.

She felt herself bow politely, was fairly certain she had even managed a small smile with a shaky, 'nice to meet you.' But her insides were screaming.

He'd never said it so plainly before. Friend. She was his friend. His friend.

That was all he thought of her, of their time together. Every kiss, every touch, every phone call, every moonlit stroll.

Friends.

For the second time that night, Usagi knew she needed to get away. Every synapse in her brain was practically begging her to run.

She could hear Motoki's aunt asking Mamoru about his job and the usual platitude he gave, "Good. Busy, but good," made her want to scream in frustration.

Didn't he understand that _nothing_ was good? That he was ruining everything?

"And what is it that you do, Usagi?" Mei Furuhata asked, suddenly directing the conversation towards her.

Usagi froze. She knew she looked ridiculous, wide eyed, mouth hanging open, floundering for a practiced fact she had to rattle off all the time.

Mamoru was looking at her with a mixture of concern and amusement. "Usako? Are you ok?"

"No!" she yelled, finally finding her voice in the most embarrassing way, noticing several guests around her sending her strange looks for her outburst.

She most certainly wasn't alright. And the dramatic soul in her wondered if she ever would be again.

And there she stood, floundering as Mamoru's eyes grew worried and his hand reached out towards her.

"No!" she shouted again pulling away from his touch, and starting to back away from him one halting step at a time.

"I have to go," she whispered, shaking her head, not caring that she was probably causing a scene. Not caring that his face seemed more alarmed with each step she took. "I have to get out of here. I'm so sorry, I just…"

And she turned to run, racing to the table she knew her shoes and purse still rested at, hoping against hope, for the first time since she'd met him, that he wasn't behind her. She couldn't think when he was around, would allow him to keep hurting her if she couldn't break away to breathe for even a few minutes.

"Usagi! Wait!" she heard him call, but she was already out the front doors, cursing under her breath and refusing to look back.

She stopped briefly, trying to decide which would be the fastest way to her hotel, hastily putting her heels back on her aching feet, and it was in that moment of hesitation that strong hands came to rest on her shoulders.

Whirling around, knowing full well who was behind her, Usagi didn't even bother to hide the hurt on her face.

She was done.

"Let go of me, Mamoru," she said through gritted teeth, and he obliged, looking completely bewildered. It was so typical that he had no idea of what he'd done. So fucking typical.

"Usako, what's wrong?" he asked, hands clenched at his sides. "I don't understand-"

An unlady like snort left her, garbled by the sound of her increasing tears. "Of course, you don't."

The look on his face, one of shock and confusion, only fueled her anger. "You were perfectly fine in there! What the hell happened?"

"You honestly have no idea why I'm upset with you?" she asked, voice rising with each word.

He seemed frustrated at her, now, his sarcasm out in full force. "Yes, I clearly have an understanding as to why you're yelling at me in the street, which is why I keep asking you why you're upset!"

"You don't get to be an asshole to me! I haven't done anything wrong!"

Mamoru raked a hand through his hair, glancing down at the pavement and taking a deep, steadying breath. He took her balled fists into his hands, and Usagi flinched but didn't pull back, while his eyes found her watery ones.

"Please, Usako," he said, his voice seemed calm and rational, while she bit her lip at the name to stop more tears from falling. "Tell me what I did wrong."

She didn't speak for a few long moments, just looked at him, taking the same steadying breath he had just a minute ago.

Her mind was surprisingly clear.

She loved this man. Had been in love with him practically from the moment she saw him, no matter how impractical it was. She had poured six months of her life into their relationship. Gave up countless weekends, time with her friends and family, making every excuse to see him…

She had moved mountains for him, and he had never once returned the favor.

It wasn't even a relationship to him. Had never been. He had called her his 'friend.' And no matter how much she loved him, she just couldn't do it anymore.

Usagi looked around, the bustling streets of Kyoto had never felt further away from home, and she knew she had to get away from this place, this hurt, as soon as she could.

"I have to go," she told him, wrenching her hands out of his hold, and turning away to the left, still unsure if it was the right way to go or not.

But this time, he didn't move to come after her.

"Usagi! I can't come after you, I have to be here!"

She stopped, and looked back at him with a sad smile and a shrug. "You never do."

Mamoru's brow furrowed in confusion, and she had to bite back the urge to run back and smooth her fingers over the creases on his forehead.

"What do you mean?"

Usagi sighed through the silent tears making quick tracks down her cheeks. She supposed now was as good of a time for the truth as any.

"It's been six months, Mamo-chan. I've given you everything, and you…" she paused and a small hiccup escaped, "haven't. And I just can't anymore. I'm so sorry."

She took a moment to take in his face, he was still giving her a mixture of confusion and something akin to fear, though she couldn't place why. And it wasn't as if she needed to try to memorize him, as she was fully convinced she knew his face better than her own and that it would haunt her for years to come, maybe even for the rest of her life, but she had always been a bit of a masochist when it came to love, and why should this be any different?

And then she turned and walked away, trying to keep the rest of her heart from withering away when he didn't even try to stop her.


End file.
